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Song Parodies -> "I Will Apply"

Original Song Title:

"I Will Survive"

Original Performer:

Gloria Gaynor

Parody Song Title:

"I Will Apply"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A popular Disco tune from the late 70s is the backdrop for our character in this parody. She's a woman who's a little down on her luck. She's had several jobs that weren't the best and even those jobs she has to leave for one reason or another:

At first I was a maid, for a widowed bride
But then she wanted parts of me which I could not provide
And then I spent too many nights dancing 'round in just a thong
But it felt wrong
So I learned how to make sarongs
But sales went slack
Ran out of lace
So I went out to find a job that would put food upon my plate
But I am having not much luck
I should have stayed for my degree
If on my own I could have reckoned this is what becomes of me...

And now I blow
Balloons, a chore
Dress like a clown now, work for a birthday party store
It's lots of fun to try to make those kiddies cry
But then I stumble
Big-ass shoes the reason why...

But I'm not shy
I will apply
Oh as long as I can get a job that won't make me serve pie
Gotta have a job to live, but won't sell my body yet
Won't take a dive, and that's no jive
Hey hey

It was kind of strange and bad, worked at a Wal-Mart
Kept trying hard to find the pieces of those broken carts
And I spent way too many nights just stocking sh!t up on the shelves
They were too high
The boss would try to rub my thigh
And he'd feel me
Out of the blue
He'd try to take me in his office, see if he could screw
And so I end up stopping him
Then when his testes hit my knee
And now I'm slaving in a slaughterhouse, someone please rescue me...

Because it blows
Blood on the floor
Can't block it out now
Those headless chickens, running gore
And I just made it to first break then said goodbye
But I will not grumble
Just got another job tonight...

Do you want fries?
Or super size?
Oh, I know it's not the greatest job but I get off at five
Some folks must have fries to live
Take your order please, that's it
Don't take no jive, get off at five

Go on now go
Get out the store
Can't have it your way
This isn't Burger King no more
Weren't you the one who tried to steal an Apple Pie?
We're gonna rumble
Boy, I'll blacken up your eyes
Don't try to lie, know you're the guy
So long, don't come here any more, I'll call the cops bye-bye
Man I hate this stupid job
Have to deal with all these slobs
Why'd I apply, I wanna cry.....

[fade out]

Useless Trivia: This song won the 1979 Grammy for Best Disco Recording. It was the first and last time that the Grammys offered this category. And now you know. ;-)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
THAT'S the theme song to over Ten Percent of the country. Grateful I am not singing it(yet...)
McKludge - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice work moving from job to job.
Warren Baker - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Love the OS, and you've nailed the rhythm. Nice job, or jobs!
Old Man Ribber - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
A slice of true present day Americana. At least your talents and skills will always be employed and rewarded here. ;D
Phil Nelson - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
good one
UnKnowVO - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I wonder what the unEmployment rate is at the ~Mustang Ranch ~ . . . .
Fiddlegirl - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
ROFL at the oddball, "random" bits... like making sarongs, and the birthday party store (Not what I was actually expecting to follow the "I blow" line...Brilliant twist.) Marvelous pacing and inspired rhymes within an amazingly cohesive (and entertaining) storyline! Well done *again*, BJ21!!!! :D
Tommy Turtle - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
One of the *few* Disco tunes I actually enjoy -- and just an ROFLMAO re-working! 555+

@ FG: You just have your mind in the gutter all the time ;-)
Jonathan S. - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
The whole thing was good, but I particularly liked when the lady defended herself against her boss. (That's a big ouch, lol)

Shall I say...
Oh, 555
A brilliant write!
blackjack21 - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark: Unemployment not a good place to be...
McKludge: Thanks for noticing. :-)
Warren: Thanks, another job title: Rhythm Nailer.
OMR: Hey thanks, still waiting on that check to get here. ;-)
Phil: Thank you.
UnKVO: I'm guessing 0%.
FG: Wow, I'm speechless, you are too kind, thanks!
TT: Still speechless, thank you!
Jonathan: My fave part too, thanks for v/c and I love that brilliant word! ;-)
Ann Hammond - January 24, 2010 - Report this comment
he he he five
blackjack21 - January 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, 3 he's this time! Thanks Ann! ;-)

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