Sweat and work paid off when I found the motherlode, see
Been here for far, far too long
It was the only gold I ever had seen

So I threw away my pans and formulated bigger plans, I
Guessed I'd need the tools of trade
So rode to town, did Pete...
Donkey !...

Took four days and nights, ass, it held that burro tight
As I filed my claim
Eeee ! Nearly went insane !

Moseyed to saloon, got charged and, drunk as skunk, my head enlarged, I
Wished to get my bagpipes played
At brothel down the street...
Women !...

Well I met the girl I love, but my honey gone and tricked me
Just sleeped, 'cos I had been drugged
She was the only girl I ever had seen...

So I got all up in arms, this caused the Madam many qualms, she
Called the Sheriff and she made
Him toss in street, poor Pete...
Diddled !...

Still, my future's bright, and I headed back that night
Set some caps that day
Fuses did go astray

So dynamite blew off my arms and scalded my unlucky charms, I'm
Blistered while sev'ry body flamed
'Cos blown apart was Pete!
Reverend Doty! :

Please do tell your young gendarmes and warn 'em of gold panning harms, As
History's heavily conveyin'
That gold it thwarted Pete!

(fade)