In a little dim-lit bar
As I sit drinkin' whiskey-laced sours
I promised some girl I would not hurl
Or pee on her neighbor's flowers

The barkeep's seen enough
And cuts my ass off
But it's way too far, I can't find my car
Don't you know it's hard when you're plastered

I'm puking by the fence, and the stench
Has people saying, "My God, that punk
Is so damn drunk
I can't believe he's standing

I try to leave with grace
But fall right on my face
I'm prone again, drunkenly

The drinking started yesterday
I guzzle beer, fart and bray
Drinkin' doubles too, just beer wouldn't do
As I went through alla' my pay

But my wife called on the phone
And said to get my ass home
So I paid my tab, and called a cab
'Cause it's bad when she goes postal

When she goes that route
And she shouts, they hear in Jersey
And then she hammers with both fists
Seldom shows me mercy...as I beg and plead
The beating still proceeds
I'm prone again, drunkenly

Bridge

It seems to me that there are more bones
Broken by my girl when she's offended
Her hook is splendid
Uppercut too...what can I do?

Instrumental break (with sounds of bones breaking)

I'm prone again, drunkenly

Now heaving up all of those beers
And whatever else that appears
I just covered my bride with Milwakee's Pride
And then headed for new frontiers

But she's shifty, that I know
Don't matter just where I go
I still understand, she will track her man
And one morning I will awaken

Waking up with dread
That I'm dead just goes unspoken
Despite discouragement from me
Legs will be badly broken

When she calls it a day
I'll drink and drink all day

I'm prone to sin.... drunkenly

I'm prone to gin

Naturally