{As Sung By pResident Bush To Vice Pres. Dick Cheney}

{instrumental intro}

Dick, the moment that you were hand-picked,
I felt as if we can always click.
You just had to stick.
You're calm and so cool.
I'm scared... with events like these so tragic.
I just wish your heart weren't so sick.
I hope you don't go; so much I don't know.

But try... as hard as I might, I just can't argue.
I don't know much about the issues. My mind is slack, but I know how to pay back.
I don't care what people think.
They think I'm just the weakest link.
Dick...

Dick... if ever a moment so rare
Was captured for all to compare.
That moment is you, it's all that you do.
That's why, as Regent, you're my kind of power guy.
With you behind me, I can always lie.
You say: "Go nap, I'll handle this stuff for you.
So you won't have much to do."
The Duke of Oil is oh-so-slick!
Dick...

{instrumental break}

Dick... it's foreign affairs that I dread.
Too much for my head, it could drive me to drink,
If I did have to think, and my polls could still sink.
Yes, you.... run the show after our election theft.
Stop opposition 'til there's nothing left.
With every hour, I'm getting drunken with power.
But you're the Boss, I won't sour. Hey, can I sleep in today, oh, Dick?
Dick...

{instrumental ending}