Peeling the shoes off your achin' feet
Air in your head and lead in your seat
Well another crummy act, the place was hardly packed
You forgot all your best routines

This stand-up comedy is such a grind
It's got so many ways of kicking your behind
And it isn't gonna work, you must've been a jerk
When you thought you were Alan King

You used to think that you were so funny
You'd crack 'em up cause you were so funny
But they're booin', they're booin' now
Another joke and then they'll be laughing
Just one good gag and then they'll start laughing
But you're bombin', you're bombin' now

Way down the street there's a club called The Cage
You walk in and see an open mike on the stage
So you rap about the news, you talk about your shoes
And you riff about daily life

You've got this dream about being so good
You're gonna, impress some talent scout from Hollywood
And then you'll get a show, direct-to-video
Sarah Silverman plays your wife

You won't admit that you are unfunny
Although you're never gonna be funny
Cause hope's floatin', hope it always floats
A heckler's telling you to please lick it
And if you listen, you can hear crickets
Cause you're blowin', you're blowin' goats