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Song Parodies -> "Soda Pop Blues/Tables One by One"

Original Song Title:

"House Inn Blues/One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"

Original Performer:

George Thorogood

Parody Song Title:

"Soda Pop Blues/Tables One by One"

Parody Written by:

Darius Whitehead

The Lyrics

I have requested Terrence Bradbury the true Squidward Fan to write this here parody for me. And now, sit back and enjoy the song with soda pop in your hand until I fix some broken tables.
[Soda Pop Blues]

[Terrence Bradbury speaks]

I wanna tell you a story,
About the Soda Pop blues.
I come to Exxon on Monday.
Had to tell the shopkeeper I lost my cash.
He said "That doesn't annoy me,
Long as you get paid next Monday."
Now next Monday came, I didn't get some pop.
There went my wallet with a drop.

So I go to Mr. Shopkeeper,
I said, "You got my job?"
I'll have my name here sitting on your table,
Next to your register.
He said, "Let me have a job for you, boy."
I notice when I finish my cereal in the morning,
They didn't get any milk for me.
Or any other drink.
And boy, I was feeling thirsty.

Then I come to the store on one crazy morning,
Mr. Shopkeeper said, "You got any soda pop yet?"
I said, "No.
Don't got no cash,
Nor do I have any change to get the pop."
He said, "I don't think you would try to get some cash."
Said, "I've seen you today in some fancy restaurant,
Eating all of the chicken tenders."
I said, "But I'm hungry.
I've been waiting all day."
He said, "That doesn't anger me.
Long as you get paid next Monday."
Now next Monday came and I didn't get any pop,
My wallet then done dropped.

So I go down to this gym,
Which was some fitness place.
I said, "Hey, Lee,
I've got a wallet in my pocket,
Can you maybe get some money in it for doing a great thing?"
He said, "Uh, let me go ask my friend."
He then comes back to me,
I can know what he said,
They don't get cash in here.
He said, "Well, I dunno, Terrence, they come here to work out once in a while."
I said, "I know.
Everybody works out here.
I bet you do too."

So I go back to Exxon,
I tell Mr. Shopkeeper,
"I got some cash,
gonna get some pop."
He said, "Good?"
I said, "We good."
And then I had a drink.
Boy, was I feeling thirsty.

So I go to my house,
Put all the coke out of the fridge.
I put them in my backpack,
And now I cross that bridge.
He was sayin' somethin' about the pop, he'll be lucky to give me some cash back.
He ain't gonna pay nothin'.
So I stopped at this local restaurant, that's full of tables.
I go to the restaurant.
I get my seat.
I call the table manager.
Said, "Look here,
Give me Room 1."
He takes me to this one,
He said, "What you see?"

[Tables One by One]

I said, "Tables are sitting here one by one.
No, I haven't seen the people sit on these comfy chairs,
I've been fixing broken tables, that were ruined by bears.
Gonna get a seat here, I'm gonna get chilled.
Don't give me one table that's already been spilled.
I wanna get lazy, just let me have some fun.
The tables are sitting here one by one.
Tables are sitting here one by one.

But the people come here, at this room.
They're playing games, they're shooting rockets.
They're smashing tables, that have been broken, one by one.
I go to the table manager,
Said, "Not there.
Room's wrong one.
He said, "What you see?"

Tables here are broken one by one.
Well, I have seen the people give the rocket a blast.
Now they smash tables, while going real fast.
Give me a second room there, I can't use this room.
Think they will give these tables a boom.
I want a new room, because this room's not much fun.
They have these tables that break one by one.
Tables are now broken one by one.

Fix this mess up, please.
Not again!

Now in this room, they've got a big bed.
Y'know, when the people got tired heads, they sleep in this bed.
I look at this room,
Then looked back to that table manager.
I said, "Look here.
That's not the right one."
He said, "I know, son.
But what room did you choose?"
Said, "Look here.
I've gotta get out this dirt."
He said, "If you wanna get out, choose the front door.
One move, if you wanna groove,
What room would you spend the night in?"

I said, "With these tables that stand here one by one.
I didn't choose this room because they're drifting off to sleep.
They cannot wake up here, cause they think I could peep.
I've gotta get out here, they are still napping.
Since they put the train tracks in this room, the train is still chugging.
I just wanna get out, I've gotta go somewhere to run,
Except live here with these tables one by one.
These tables live here one by one.
(c) Joseph Kent Dash Henson

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

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JIMI - April 28, 2020 - Report this comment

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