I read his parodies with sheer delight
I like the...way he thinks, it's kinda not-quite-right
The way he takes his stories way too far
his little details are...so very pe-cu-li-ar

Kris is absurd

He writes about canaries quite insane
oh wait, was that his hens? (I must read it again)
and Kristof seems to think that monkeys bluff
and that Tarzan's depressed - and that his dates have handcuffs

Kris is absurd
(he's absurd, yes absurd is the word)
he is clearly crazy
Kris is a genius, mad as a hatter
who uses the term "whoopsadaisy"

[instrumental]

He writes of polyglots on Aer-o-flot
and of the singing class - es that he gives his dog
I guess it's usual to have bubblebaths
but with Cameron Diaz?
(he doesn't do things by halves)

Kris is absurd
(he's absurd, it's inferred in his words)
the full parody parcel
Kris is an Aussie - it's obvious 'coz he
can "couplet" Newcastle and arseh'le
he has a dog he calls Lendl......AND a sans-meat,
Calvin-Kleins-wearing Ken-doll
(do-ya-see WHAT I mee-ean?)


It's not too sunny In Vermont, okay
which, for a Wagga boy, would make him stay away
I guess the cloudiness would make him morose
like watching Arnie shag
Maria Shriver I s'pose

Kris, you're absurd
(yes, absurd - it is SO SO the word
...in the nicest of meanings)
mate, you like strippers
from Mars, and oddsbodkins
and Tina (when she's trampolining)

(instrumental)

Where are you head-ing, Pinocchio's wedding?
you SURE you're invited?
maybe the friction (you walk with restriction)
has made you get over-excited

Kristof's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd
he's absurd