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Song Parodies -> "22-metre Dropouts"
Original Song Title:
"Beauty School Dropout"
Original Performer:
Frank Avalon
Parody Song Title:
"22-metre Dropouts"
Parody Written by:
Rocky Mak
The Lyrics
OK, this parody is another one off of Grease's songs, but it took me quite a while to set the scene. But I mashed concepts from American Football, Rugby League and Rugby Union, and just stuck it up and it makes sense. The story happens in 2012 when the entire North Queensland Cowboys team converted to rugby union in 2010, but with Matty Bowen trying his hand at player-coach, he thought he can do more. But since the team suffered a 2-year run of not scoring a try in Super Rugby, I, a deceased multi-code star, disguised myself as John Connelly, gave him some advice in his dreams. But after he woke up, he realized that I did somehow send him my new gameplays for him.
Your story's sad to tell
A team that ne'er do well
Most messed up, stupid gameplan on the block
Your future's so unclear now
What's left for your star players now?
Can't even get a trade-in on the draft
22-metre dropouts
No planning dummy plays for you
22-metre dropouts
Missed the conversion from one foot
Well at least you could have taken time
To build up 14 phases
After spending all the time
To have the pack to screw their scrum up
Better get moving
Why keep your feeble hopes alive
What are ya proving
There's not just 6 tackles within a drive
If you ran out to the corner
The defenders won't catch you
Turn in your kicking boots and read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Doing too many tackling chores
22-metre dropouts
It's about time you knew the score
Well it wouldn't help with anything
When you do the cross-field bender
'Cause the wingers won't jump high enough
To tip it to the hooker [a position in rugby union, not a prostitute]
Matty, don't sweat it.
You're not cut out to punt or bomb
Better forget it
Who want line-outs caught by a prop?
Now your fullback's pearl
Your game's unfurled
But still no team fears you
Wipe off that stupid face and read my new plays soon
Matty, don't blow it
Don't put my good advice to shame
Matty, you know it
Even dear Eddie'd say the same
Now I've called the shots, get off your spot
I've really gotta fly
Gotta be going to that sports shop in the sky
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
A team that ne'er do well
Most messed up, stupid gameplan on the block
Your future's so unclear now
What's left for your star players now?
Can't even get a trade-in on the draft
22-metre dropouts
No planning dummy plays for you
22-metre dropouts
Missed the conversion from one foot
Well at least you could have taken time
To build up 14 phases
After spending all the time
To have the pack to screw their scrum up
Better get moving
Why keep your feeble hopes alive
What are ya proving
There's not just 6 tackles within a drive
If you ran out to the corner
The defenders won't catch you
Turn in your kicking boots and read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Doing too many tackling chores
22-metre dropouts
It's about time you knew the score
Well it wouldn't help with anything
When you do the cross-field bender
'Cause the wingers won't jump high enough
To tip it to the hooker [a position in rugby union, not a prostitute]
Matty, don't sweat it.
You're not cut out to punt or bomb
Better forget it
Who want line-outs caught by a prop?
Now your fullback's pearl
Your game's unfurled
But still no team fears you
Wipe off that stupid face and read my new plays soon
Matty, don't blow it
Don't put my good advice to shame
Matty, you know it
Even dear Eddie'd say the same
Now I've called the shots, get off your spot
I've really gotta fly
Gotta be going to that sports shop in the sky
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
22-metre dropouts
Read my new plays soon
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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Hi again, Rocky. Pacing is a fussy thing...sometimes it matters, sometimes it does'nt. In this case, your title can't quite match the same syllables as "beauty school". I know next to nothing about rugby also, but I like being educated on it as you have done it here. Even though I passed on the OS words being used in the BohoRhap parody elsewhere, this was way too much of it here for me to pass that by. Looking forward to what else you'll do.
Pacing doesn't make much sense when you can't hear how it is supposed to work. I understand that. Which is why I'm trying to find someone to see me practice this song.
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