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Song Parodies -> "YEW-phoric"

Original Song Title:

"Hot Blooded"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Foreigner

Parody Song Title:

"YEW-phoric"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson

The Lyrics

Well I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Runs down my property at its western edge
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

I won't have to see the junk, ev'ry day you bring in your trunk
Discount plants that you buy
Spread out on your drive, some dead some half-alive
I won't care where you pot them after they die.

I'll restrict your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins
While I've been away, I know you use my walk on garbage day.

It's called Podocarpus or Japanese yew
Grows quite tightly, blocks objectable view
Screen this neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, YEW-phoric.

My first scheme denied - 'planting zone can't be on your side'
Shall we break off the talks?
But I needed space next to line; more space at property line,
Near killed me, used hot crow-bar, smashed half-foot off my brick walk.

Do you love to hoard? And pile your yard up with old bricks and boards?
Buy old junk on binge? Old bent Santa-sign with rusty fringe?

Now I'm euphoric, my new privacy hedge
Blocks invading weeds like knotweed and sedge
Screen out neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Electric guitar or ukulele solo)

I'll track down your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins
If I find snipped yews, I'll assume a crime by you-know-who.

Now I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Bounds my property on its western edge
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Fade)
Eureka! Hedge that's so neat
A year of growth - should get to five feet
YEW-phoric; it reduces my stress
YEW-phoric; screens out all her mess
YEW-phoric; it grows pretty dense
YEW-phoric; hides her lawn ornaments
YEW-phoric; it's making me dance
YEW-phoric; these are dense-fence plants .......
See more nonsense as well as hedge-photos at Giorgio's Ukable Parodies.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 2
 2
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Al Silver - May 31, 2016 - Report this comment
I've led a clean life, so I never heard the original before. I tracked the parody with the Foreigner version and pronounce your pacing glatt kosher. I also read the original lyrics, which has some all-talk-no-action 40 year-old virgin declaring himself hot-blooded and begging the object of his alleged lust to consent to conquest. The parody is successful, in a light-hearted way, in infuriating me about your inconsiderate neighbor. Suppose you stretched the passive-aggressive approach such that you are, perversely, sexually aroused by her vandalic behavior. Then you will truly parody the whining of Mr. Foreigner. Consider:

Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child

becomes

Hot neighbor, I'm turned on as you strew
Hot neighbor, hop my hedge and we'll screw

Very good job, done with integrity. I'd prefer to see your troubles as more of a universal experience. 5s.
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson - May 31, 2016 - Report this comment
Al; Thanks for your stamp of approval. In my fantasy, the cluttery neighbor who justifies the privacy hedge is quite elderly, and despite her proclivity to move paving blocks etc, now needs some help on the weekends from her out-of-town family. Mobility issues make her unlikely to hop hedges. Your fantasy is much wilder, and seems to belie your "clean life". Have you checked your temperature?
Al Silver - May 31, 2016 - Report this comment
My half-baked opinions don't come with an official stamp.
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
There is no higher mark of esteem on this site than AlSilver-approved. A suggestion for the official stamp of approval is Al+Ag+. Disapproved items could be stamped Al-Ag- (apologies, I was never very good at chemistry!)
CML - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Well I'm cold blooded .. Check it and see ... For no reason I'll be giving you threes
The Donald - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
CML downgrades you without explanation? No wonder they call him Lennie. Like that simpleton in the Hemingway novel. Sad! I'm giving this FIVES!!! This is going to be YEW-ge!!
Al Silver - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
The simpleton character Lennie, as every one but "The Donald" knows, is a creation of John Steinbeck for his novel "Of Mice and Men." Who can forget the Italian translation in which Lennie says, "Duh, George, can I pet that coniglio?"
Sarah Palindrome - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
@CML;"Nail it per GCG? Reptilian."
Callmelennie - June 02, 2016 - Report this comment
That's a unique talent you have, SP. I shall dub thee, the "Majordomo of Palindromo"
Sarah Palindrome - June 02, 2016 - Report this comment
@CML; Thanks, but I have already been dubbed Sarah Palindrome, matching my feminine pseudonym-gender. 'Majordomo' sounds too masculine. "Name lame, male, man!"
Al Silver - June 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Sarah, political correctness mandates that a straight woman like you be called "cis-gendered." That is meant to distinguish you as different from but equal to that other yewge mass of yewmanity, trans-sexuals. It's enough to drive me nuts or at least to "stun" me.
Sarah Palindrome - June 02, 2016 - Report this comment
@AlAg; I am in fact, like a honeybee, yew-social. But what about my straight sister who just had a his-terectomy; is she also cis/sis-gendered? Confusing. "Ma is a nun, as I am"

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