Well I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Runs down my property at its western edge
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

I won't have to see the junk, ev'ry day you bring in your trunk
Discount plants that you buy
Spread out on your drive, some dead some half-alive
I won't care where you pot them after they die.

I'll restrict your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins
While I've been away, I know you use my walk on garbage day.

It's called Podocarpus or Japanese yew
Grows quite tightly, blocks objectable view
Screen this neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, YEW-phoric.

My first scheme denied - 'planting zone can't be on your side'
Shall we break off the talks?
But I needed space next to line; more space at property line,
Near killed me, used hot crow-bar, smashed half-foot off my brick walk.

Do you love to hoard? And pile your yard up with old bricks and boards?
Buy old junk on binge? Old bent Santa-sign with rusty fringe?

Now I'm euphoric, my new privacy hedge
Blocks invading weeds like knotweed and sedge
Screen out neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Electric guitar or ukulele solo)

I'll track down your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins
If I find snipped yews, I'll assume a crime by you-know-who.

Now I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Bounds my property on its western edge
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Fade)
Eureka! Hedge that's so neat
A year of growth - should get to five feet
YEW-phoric; it reduces my stress
YEW-phoric; screens out all her mess
YEW-phoric; it grows pretty dense
YEW-phoric; hides her lawn ornaments
YEW-phoric; it's making me dance
YEW-phoric; these are dense-fence plants .......