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Song Parodies -> "One Less Pill to Pay For"

Original Song Title:

"One Less Bell To Answer"

Original Performer:

Fifth Dimension

Parody Song Title:

"One Less Pill to Pay For"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Sixteen years ago, my daughter brought a stray cat into our house, who then proceeded to deliver three kittens in one of our closets. Over the next eight years, we lost three of those kitties. Yesterday, we lost the last one -- a 16-year old runt named Speedie, who had various ailments which required us to shell out a small fortune to treat. As she got older, she became senile and stopped using the litter box and also began howling in the middle of the night, which forced us to put her out in the garage at night. Yesterday morning, she somehow slipped out of the garage and we found her dead in the street. So this is our official song of mourning for Speedie ... and for the closing of a kitty era.
One less pill to pay for
One less med to buy
One less mess to clean up after
We should be happy
But all we do is cry (Cry, cry, no more purring)
We should be happy (Why, why, is she gone?)

I only know that
Since she passed, I feel so guilty
'Though I try to forget; it just can't be done
Each time I pass that spot; I'm still stunned
I don't know how in the world
I'll ever unsee that sight
She lay in the street still and cold
I end this day the way I start out
Bleeding my heart out

Oh, one less cat to do night howling
No more meowing, no more purrs
Since I let, ooh, let her slip away

(One less pill to pay for, one less med to buy)
Why didn't I watch her?
(My my, why did she run)
Now we got -- one less med to buy, one less test to try
And all we do is cry

Somebody tell me please
Why did she go, what could I do
Tell me why must we lose them?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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Felix - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Is this a parody or a dirge? Admire your devotion to pets, but must give this mixed score.
Callmelennie - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Well yes, it's something of a dirge. That should not have been a surprise, given the explanatotry paragraph. One thing I've discovered about my skill set is it can used to be funny, but you can also use it to pen something poignant and touching. I think the sentiments here speak to anyone who ever spent a lot of money and effort to extend the life of an older pet only to see it die. On the one hand, you wanted to see it happen so the ordeal would be over; but then there's the sadness and emptiness when it actually happens .... And I would even agree that a couple of lines should be redone -- "I end this song the way I start out, bleeding my heart out." That would have been a slightly lighter touch.
Patrick - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
I've done the same for over-the-hill, but beloved cars. Hate to see them go. Once took a friend's dog to be euthenized. It was not cheap, but a bullet was not an option, and would not have been as quick or certain. Under Obamacare, all us golden oldies will get the same treatment in order to eek out a few more months of riotous spending by the DC insiders.
Rob Arndt - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Sorry for your loss, a tragic parody but 555...
Smellchecker - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, in the name of decency, must you take even this opportunity to politicize? You forgot to mention Soylent Green.
It's "euthanize." It's "eke."
Callmelennie - September 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick didn't offend me, Smellckeker, and I'm the one that counts since it's my thread. Of course, it helps that our two points of view are mostly congruent.
WarrenB - September 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice one, Callmelennie. Pet owner myself, so I know from where you speak, and it was well spoken.

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