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Song Parodies -> "Elk Attack Impends"

Original Song Title:

"Welcome Back My Friends"

Original Performer:

Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Parody Song Title:

"Elk Attack Impends"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you do not know the OS, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here
Elk attack impends
It’s a Canada revenge
When’s that rutting season end?
Moosey bride! Moosey bride!
Came here for the bass
Now I’m freezing off my ass
These perils: Must outlast
Must be strong! Must be strong!

See the sky, the snow's about to start
Ol’ North Wind has froze my lower parts
Bet that you’ll not find no sunny hearth
Tongue is froze to palate so I curth!
You've got the freezin’ snow, polar winds a-blow
My God, to feel my toes, that is my goal

Just inches from my thighs:
Fearful antlers, crazy eyes
As I crap myself inside
There’s my life! Passing by!
Woe betide me, 'spose I wasn’t smart
Camping trip, it blowed right from the start

A lotta Molson brew... Step in husky poo...
A lotta caribous... and cold igloos...

(Insert tedious, seemingly endless Northern Lights Show here)

Warning: grizzly scene
In this phase of season mean
Will shun salmon for a lean
Human bein'! Human bein’!
Florida’s the land
Where I’ll future take this stand:
My next vacation’s better planned
(Disneyland! Disneyland!)
Warm up! Warm up! Warm up!
Flee the snow!

Aurora skies, they rule
This frostbite is something cruel
Severed digits and my tool
Gee it’s cool, gee it’s cool
With respect to those homegrown
I’ll continue to bemoan
Whole damn place should be postponed
Hold the phone! Arctic zone!
Hail, sleet and snow!
Hail, sleet and snow!
Did I mention snow?
Fie on snow!
Fie on snow!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Title Police - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
"Karn Evil 9: 1st Impression (Part 2)"
Johnny D - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Fuse atomically
Hydrogen into H-e
Solar flatulence abounds
In the sky! In the sky!
Stellar farting blast
By the planet Earth blows past
Some is caught aurorically
Gassy show! Gassy show!
Rick D - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
It's part of Karn Evel 9 (part one) from the Brain Salad Surgery album
alvin - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....i've been yearning for a hobbit parody and this was a masterpiece....highlights were 'moosey bride', 'curth', 'husky poo'.. makes me wish the OS was even longer
Agrimorfee - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Perhaps M&P should work on the completet Karn Evil 9 suite as a LotR work?
McKludge - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Good idea, Aggie. Call it The Wrath of Karn.
It must have been 5 below when you wrote this.
Kristof Robertson - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Makes me so glad I live in tropical London!....:-P. Great fun, hobbits. 555 gallons of maple syrup.
John Jenkins - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
It was all good, but I liked the "curth" verthe betht.
Meriadoc - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you all. I hate the OS, so it was fun to destroy it... :-)
mandamoo - August 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Any suggestions as to the best way to discourage the unwanted attentions of over 1,000 Deer running rampant in down town Sydney....? :O Excellent wordplay as per... :)
jeffhubbs2 - February 15, 2010 - Report this comment
I had tears in my eyes and I couldn't breathe, okay? That's how funny.

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