Don't you fret a bit, buddy!
You won't feel a thing!
We'll give you a bag of some
I-V morphine
I don't charge much money for
All that I give -
I'll build you a house where
Estro-gen lives...

You see, I'm a sculptor -
A doctor who knows
How to heal your emotions and let - no scarring show
I know it's not much,
But it's the best I can do.
My gift is my Dongshaft Removal Crew

And you can tell everybody,
This is your dong
It's in formaldehyde, but,
Now that it's gone -
I hope you don't mind,
I hope you don't mind,
That I'll brag to the world -
My wonderful knife is what made you a girl

Sterilized tools
To clip off the moss
Then my Crew, marks your member
With an - iodine cross
Looks like fate was quite kind
Back when you were born
It's the patients like you that
Keep me turned on

Time to start counting backwards
From thirty by threes
You'll forget what it's like
To stand up - while you pee
Drift away...the time has...come for you to sleep...
You'll have the sweetest dreams...you're under deep

And you can tell everybody,
This is your dong
It's in formaldehyde, but,
Now that it's gone -
I hope you don't mind,
I hope you don't mind,
That I'll brag to the world -
My wonderful knife is what made you a girl