I remember parties till dawn
We'd play music by Elton John,
Grateful Dead, and Rolling Stones
Had some Zig-Zag papers and a stash of my own

But the weirdest kick we heads were on
Was doing a thing called the Valium Bong
While the other heads were munching their Ding-Dongs
We were hacking and coughing on those Valium Bongs

Well, Valium Bonging
Will have you yawning
As your muscles melt like snow
I never knew me a weirder buzz
And I guess I'll never know
What - Valium Bonging - just might have done
To my brain cells when I was young
Valium Bonging proved I wasn't all that bright...

Yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwwwwwwn

But the years went by and the bong just died
Booziness replaced the stoner's bloodshot eyes
Long nights watching television in bed
Dreaming of days dancing to the Grateful Dead

But they'll never kill those thrills long gone
Chillin' out with the Valium Bong
Crushing all of those yellow tabs
We never thought the Valium Bong was bad

Well, Valium Bonging
Will have you yawning
As you smoke those yellow pills
I never knew me a weirder buzz
And I guess I never will
Oh! - Valium Bonging - was damage done?
To my brain cells when I was young?
Valium Bonging proved I wasn't all that bright...

Yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwwwwwwn

Yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwn
Ya-ya-ya-ya-yawwwwwwwwn