I'm laying here and not feeling so hot
They have me stretched out on this icy cold cot
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold ooh-ooh
With a pain in my gut and a frozen blue butt
Hospital Gown

They took my clothes off and my good underwear
And when I walk, all the people just stare
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold ooh-ooh
There's a slit in the back, I am under attack
Hospital Gown

Hospital Gown, It's Loose
Hospital Gown, Caboose
Hospital Gown, Get Goosed
Hospital Gown

They have me going through every known test
As they probe me so much I can't rest
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold ooh-ooh
With a pain in my gut and a frozen blue butt
Hospital Gown

If I have to stay here another night
I want a long cord so I can pull it tight
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold ooh-ooh
There's a slit in the back, I am under attack
Hospital Gown

Hospital Gown, It's Loose
Hospital Gown, Caboose
Hospital Gown, Get Goosed
Hospital Gown

My HMO is taking it's sweet old time
As the whole world gets to see my behind
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold ooh-ooh
With a pain in my gut and a frozen blue butt
Hospital Gown

Next time I come here for a medical ride
My hair will be so long that it will sure hide
Hospital Gown
Cold, Cold, Cold, Cold, ooh-ooh
No thank you and please, next time I won't get a breeze
Hospital Gown
Hospital Gown, Gown, Gown, Gown