Grandma got run over by a Lincoln, walking home from a cookout one summer's eve
You can say there's no such thing as Uncle Sam, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been eating too much barbecue, and we asked her not to go
But she didn't bring her Maalox, so she waited and snuck out of the front door
When we found her on the Fifth, at the scene of the attack
She had a big bump on her forehead, and incriminating tire marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a Lincoln, walking home from a cookout one summer's eve
You can say there's no such thing as Uncle Sam, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa, he's been taking this so well
Sitting in there watching baseball, drinking beer and talking with our Aunt Michelle
It ain't the Fourth without Grandma, all the flags are flying half-staff
And we're hoping and praying, that before the summer's over, she'll come back (PLEASE COME BACK!)

Grandma got run over by a Lincoln, walking home from a cookout one summer's eve
You can say there's no such thing as Uncle Sam, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the burgers are on the grill, and the hot dogs wrapped in buns, Mmm!
And the red ketchup bottles would just have matched the tint in Grandma's bun
I've warned all my friends and neighbors, Better watch out for yourselves!
They should never give a license to an old man who steals your taxes and spends them on himself

Grandma got run over by a Lincoln, walking home from a cookout one summer's eve
You can say there's no such thing as Uncle Sam, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe

(Sing it, Grandpa!)

Grandma got run over by a Lincoln, walking home from a cookout one summer's eve
You can say there's no such thing as Uncle Sam, but as for me and Grandpa, we belie-e-eve!

(Happy Fourth of July!)