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Song Parodies -> "Santa Dropped His Job, Now He's A Cashier"

Original Song Title:

"Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer"

Original Performer:

Elmo & Patsy

Parody Song Title:

"Santa Dropped His Job, Now He's A Cashier"

Parody Written by:

Warren Baker

The Lyrics

Sometimes an icon's gotta do what an icon's gotta do. Leave.
Santa dumped his job, now he’s a cashier
Traded sled for third hand S-U-V
You might think he’s bored and blue and bothered
But you will see he’s jolly and relieved

He’d been facing too much pressure
And the lawyers cost him dough
For he’s been fighting off citations
That he broke into some houses and chateaus

When recalling Christmas mornings
Sugar treats and hefty snacks
He now shakes his head in anger
How his diet made his butt look big and fat

Santa dumped his job, now he’s a cashier
Said goodbye to workshop, time to leave
Now, these days, there’s no red suit for Nicky
Cos’ as of now its worsted wool and tweed

Now the North Pole’s full of Russians
They’ve been pumping oil from wells
Saw them in the workshop bribing
Spreading cash and stealing all his helper elves

And his North Pole’s gotten smaller
Said the value’s been attacked
But he felt “Oh, heck, why bother?”
For that global warming cut his land in half.

Santa dumped his job, now he’s a cashier
Reindeer he’s not missing Christmas Eve
So lovely, most will find the deer enchanting
In flight they make the patties you don't need

Now he’s loose and mind is stable
Hateful missus kicked him out
Her abuse he couldn’t handle
She was one nutcracker he could live without

And for all the kids and strangers
Never worry, he got help
He just hired him some nice friends
Look for U-P-S in leotards with bells

Santa dumped his job, now he’s a cashier
Selling things for home and lawncare needs
You can tell him you need help in garden
And he will sell you “hoe hoe’s” for your weeds.
More songs about holidays and hollandaise are available at The Blogging Baker.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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AFW - December 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Humorous and unique idea...I guess things are worse than I thought..if Santa's workin' at Sears.
Old Man Ribber - December 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren - The high point of the season thus far! I'm still laughing! ;D
LilHoTweet - December 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I did see ~NickyDearest~ up on the Woof-Top . . .
Lee - December 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Very funny and creative! 5's.
WarrenB - December 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm very glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully, thanks to the miracle of karaoke, I'll have a recording of this by early next week.
John Jenkins - December 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Very good story and great last line. Some of the rhymes where a bit stretched, but very clever nonetheless. Good luck with the karaoke.
WarrenB - December 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, John. I think I know what you're talking about with the rhymes. In some cases I was working toward a similar sound as opposed to a straight rhyme. I think you'll hear it in the karaoke version. I'm glad you liked the story!
WarrenB - December 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Song is now posted:
Hope everyone enjoys it!

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