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Song Parodies -> "Pearls A Minger"

Original Song Title:

"Pearls A Singer"

Original Performer:

Elkie Brookes

Parody Song Title:

"Pearls A Minger"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

i'm gonna let you have a look in my little black book.well the notes in the margin!
pearls a minger
she chucks up when she chews her tobacco
in a bathtub!
pearls a minger
she wears thongs that get lost just below knee
this slob has spandex straining jokes
spiteful tongue that's felling oaks
at the golf club!

merls a minger
and i say that she looks like dogs dinner
in a string vest
merls a minger
and they say that she once was ex-plored
they said he spent a week or more
he went were no man should go
he never made it !

now we come to old sweaty mable
dark hair in pits they look like road kill sable
teeming with the things that somehow smell of pooh
and the things that never soak through!

shirls a minger
some say that she comes from down montano
from a bear cub
shirls a minger
she has gongs they say cost all my mon-ey
her gob is entertaining blokes
springing tongues and giving strokes
in the chess club

earls a minger
he glams up still looks like joe spaaaano!
with a three wood
earls a minger
he things thongs with a lisp and on one knee
he's not ascertaining smokes
righting wrongs ala noakes
at the health club

sorry i've lost their numbers !
(noakes was an anti-smoking campaigner)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   3
 4   3
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yoidy - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry, but I don't understand it.
Jason - February 10, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Im very sorry, but I find this a bit of a letdown compared to your usual good parodies. I also found it very hard to understand. 333.
Michael E Cormier - February 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sorry, but I have to agree with Yoidy on this one.
Matthias - February 11, 2007 - Report this comment
A better explination at the start would have been helpful, for I too am lost. What the heck does "Pearls A Minger" even mean???
Agrimorfee - February 12, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I never heard of the term "minger" before, is it U.K. slang? (don't know where you hail from, Tomario). The trick of this song was making 4 ryhming stanzas on the same thing, plus the bridge. All were pretty funny, excepting for the parts about "she has gongs they say cost all my money"...and "ala noakes"---both have me scratching my head.
tomario - February 12, 2007 - Report this comment
sorry to have confused you all .a "minger" is an ugly person gongs are breasts and noakes was a big anti-smoking campainer it's funny how everyday words aren't everyday words in others everyday worlds ? i can't beleive i just wrote that !!!! thanks for your comments and again sorry for confusing you.
Peter Andersson - February 15, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM: First of all, this parody deserves a better pacing average than just above 3, surely. Second, my babylon dictionary let me in on minger so I got the joke. Third, playing on that I'd like to say to the imaginary (?) narrator that if he's going for serial dates with names rhyming to Pearl he deserves ending up with Earl, and what's wrong with making it just "girl(s)" in general? ;-)
Max Power - February 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Colin Bailey - February 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Well I knew what minger meant! Thought it started of well but became a bit strained towards the end
Below Average Dave - February 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "he things thongs with a lisp and on one knee". . .I think that is the most confusing line in the song, the majority of it holds it's own--but I won't harp on it, all in all not bad, but it seems like you started off with a great idea and then had to piece together the ending. . .all is good though--the idea was a good one.
Phil Alexander - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Hate to get all pedantic and grammatical on you, but IMO the lack of capitals and apostrophes made it that bit trickier to see what you're on about. What I mean is:
"Merle's a minger"
makes it that bit more obvious that you're talking about someone called "Merle" who presumably supported Menzies Campbell in the LibDem leadership election (in-joke... "Menzies" is pronounced "mingis", you can work out the rest). Ditto "Mabel" (I did have to do a double-take to realize that "mable" wasn't a typo for "marble". All that aside, I thought it was actually really rather good.
Stuart McArthur - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) amazing how many names rhyme with Earl (except Mabel - where did that come from?) - I too have never heard of "minger" - a pommy term? - maybe its native to your little black book, tomario ;-)
Johnny D - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmmm.....not sure about the rest of the parody, but "road kill sable" is pure genius.
Tim Mayfield - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmm, and I thought the best line was 'he things thongs with a lisp' I guess it depends on the reader... Great job making us look up words we never heard before.
The charnstar - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Sorry, that was way to confusing to read. 4-3-3
Red Ant - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I was lost until I read the comments. Odd but lovely work, Tomario. Minger, heh heh: i'll have to remember that one. The second verse was the best.
wannabemustangjockey - March 01, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Uhh... the effort is clearly visible but the humor isn't. I just don't get it.
gareth - March 07, 2008 - Report this comment
what are you all on about that song is f**king fab we are all singing it as i speak you all need to get a sense of humor

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