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Song Parodies -> "Illegal Woman"

Original Song Title:

"Evil Woman"

Original Performer:

Electric Light Orchestra

Parody Song Title:

"Illegal Woman"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Youtube it HERE

They'll play and fool for fee, and their hookin' seems have got no end.

(Short Instrumental Intro)

Hey woman you're long and loose, and you need cash for the drugs you use.
On the open road you strut your fare, you try fake the miles
That's on your software.
It's a roll in the bed, it's a game of skin,
You hook your body and trade your trim.
Uh Huh, woman you supply the game,
But you're just everybody elses jane.

Illegal woman, Illegal woman, Illegal woman, illegal woman...

Strollin' for another john,
Get some sold, just get to gettin' on.
As he drools for some honey, hot his pepper raise,
And you drown the cool fryin' in a blaze.
Uh huh, woman when the do comes due,
Self employed what's it worth to is afforded you.
They get stood when the john played 'em,
The best way to make a hormone is to just not pay 'em.

Illegal woman, Illegal woman, Illegal woman, illegal woman...

(Instrumental Interlude)

Illegal woman, Illegal woman, Illegal woman, illegal woman...

You're illegal woman, Ille-e-e-gal woman

Eager women they won't do you wrong,
That's why if buyin' some tail you don't belong.
Uh huh, money takes to poke for smut, you laid with swine now you
Pay the slut.
Check your plumbin' every time you ride,
Caught by law love whilin' on the slide.
Uh huh, they're with vice you know, now it's to that place called jail you go.

Illegal woman, Illegal woman, Illegal woman, illegal woman...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Fit perfectly with the tone of the OS, Guy! Very funny and prositutional educational! Up to $555/hr.
Andy Primus - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
I love a good hooker story - done several myself. Here's $555 - go rent a more upmarket model
Old Man Ribber - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
"Legal" ond day, "Illegal" the next. lol Good job again! ;D
Timmy1000 - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice twist on the ending
Michael Pacholek - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice job, and thank you for NOT making this about Hillary, Michelle or Sonia.
AFW - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Fine story...gotta' love that line..d"Best way to make a hormone is just no pay 'em"
McKludge - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
Fiddlegirl - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Ho Ho Ho!!!!! (3 5s for you)
Guy - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark - Wow - I am a high priced call guy. Give me enough $$$ per hour and I may do almost anything =;-) Thanks.

Andy - yeah it's really hard to hit on 'em when they're in the hoosegow.

OMR - Just like my wiseguy cronies - we make dirty illegal money one day - take it to Joe the washer (he used to be Joe the plumber) and the next day it's all spanky clean and legal.

Timmy - Yeah I just couldn't let her get away with it this time. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Michael - Are you kidding? They'd starve if they had to make their living this way. Is Nancy Pelosi fair game? And I did get one on Sonia two days ago to this same OS but I let her play herself. Thanks.

Face - That's an old line - are you saying you never heard it or you just liked the way I used it. I liked the smut/slut couplet better. It was a fun write and I'm glad that you liked it and told me so. Thanks buddy.

McK - LOL!!! I just used that old saying a few days ago in reverse - "You can lead a horse to drink but you can't make him water". I wish I'd thought of your line when I was writing this because it would have been part of the parody. I read your comment at work and almost fell out of my chair when I read it. I showed it to some coworkers and they absolutley howled. Thanks for dressing up my comment section.

Fiddlegirl - yeah it can be a hard row to ho. Thanks Fiddlegirl-friend.
alvin - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
lmao @ check your plumbin'
Guy - August 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Alvin - That's what I like about you - the simplest things amuse. You're easy to write for. I remember my father saying how kids were spoiled because of what they were then getting for Christmas - He told me this: "I got an orange for Christmas and I was happy to get it". It really made it really easy to shop for him. Glad you liked the parody and thanks as always for checking me out and leaving your kind comments. Take 'er easy, buddy. =-;)
blackjack21 - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved the ho thing. $555 fine for pandering prostitute parodies.
Guy - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
A♣ J♣ - 21

"I can't believe I ate the ho thing" I do the hos from time to time but not how you think. Thanks.

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