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Song Parodies -> "Medieval Woman"

Original Song Title:

"Evil Woman"

Original Performer:

Electric Light Orchestra

Parody Song Title:

"Medieval Woman"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Come buy some tools from me
Take you to the fifteenth century

Hey woman, you need new shoes
And it don't matter which ones you choose
Here's an open toe one that's so nice
When you buy two pairs you get one half-price

Buy a hoe or a scythe or an oxen plough
You buy my sickle I'll milk your cow
Your back's aching when you cut the grain
Ain't the fourteenth century such a pain?

Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman

Boiled in oil or dungeon bound
I've been told the king is makin' rounds
Well it's true that this country's seen it's better days
If his spy's around better sing his praise

Promise woman better tell me true
Don't make me the accused if they come for you
Such blood from the thousands slain
But there's really no telling how long this tyrant shall reign

Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman (I hear soldiers coming)
Medieval Woman

(dulcimer and lute break)

Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman (I hear soldiers coming)
Medieval Woman

Working in the fields can make you strong
But when you're sickly your body don't live as long
Got remedy poured here in a cup
You'll be just fine if you drink it up

I've got something every woman needs
Got some amulets and wizard beads
I've got me a magic bean or two
Give you a big bean stalk like Jack grew

Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman (I hear soldiers coming)
Medieval Woman

Medieval Woman
Medieval Woman (see the soldiers coming)
Medieval Woman (lots of soldiers coming)
Medieval Woman (I was only funnin')

Medieval Woman (now you see me runnin')

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   15

User Comments

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John Barry - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Love it!
alvin rhodes - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
me thinks, this is wondrous, sir tim...5s
Tim Mayfield - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John and Alvin. I always thought they were singing "medieval woman" anyway, I think they re-sing the 'E' in evil, so it's e-evil woman.
Rick D - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
If you ever want to sing this in San Jose, I'll play it for you on dulcimer.
John Jenkins - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I like the creative imagery. Good parody, Tim.
Tim Mayfield - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick and John.

Rick, I seriously think this one deserves authentic 14th century instruments, and lots of clanging armor and swords too.
Claude Prez - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart McArthur - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
love the detail - and the dulcimer break - haven't seen one of them in a while - 555
Tim Mayfield - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Claude and Stuart. I've always pictured a 14th century bard band in full attire and the lead lute player rocking out and using the wang bar. I would throw in a harpsichord and put them in a grazing field with cows in the background for the video...
Jim - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Somewhere "Weird Al" is kicking himself for not thinking up this parody in the first place
Warren - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
This made me laughout loud in my office - cheered me up on a miserable Monday morning!
Valerie - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I love the lyrics, but I also have a question. I'm doing a presentation on Medieval Woman, & I was hoping to use a clip of just the chorus as my opening for the presentation. Is there any way that I could do that?
Tim Mayfield - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Valerie, do you mean a clip as in a recording? I don't have a recording of this one yet.
Kristof Robertson - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I've just reacqainted myself with this tune...and your parody of it is fab! 555
Tim Mayfield - July 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof. It was a fab tune to begin with.
Nate - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
I thought you did well with the spacing, but honestly the content just isn't that funny. It's a LITTLE funny, just not funny enough to be brilliant. I've often daydreamed about writing a Medieval Woman parody... Maybe I'll hafta get off my butt and do it.
Nate - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Ok, so here's my feeble effort... (Hint: 'Let them eat cake.') It ruined my dynasty, but even without it, it would’ve had to end. They said that, I was amused, by the plights of the servants you did abuse. But they finally got organized and shook off their yoke And they, opened their eyes, and now you’re the joke. There’s a hole on that thing for you to put your head, He’ll pull the rope and you’ll soon be dead. Ha, ha woman it’s a crying shame, But you ain’t got nobody else to blame. Chorus Medieval woman, Medieval woman, Medieval woman, Medieval woman. Rolled in from Vienna in an pretty gown, Knew you’d be Queen of that Paris town. But you fooled with the privileged nobility’s ways, And they used the peasants to make you pay. Ha, ha woman what you gonna do, They’ve, killed all your friends and they’ll get you too. So sorry that you’re feeling pain, But the, nobles will find they’re next in the chain. Chorus: repeat Medieval woman, it’s sad you did no wrong, Trying to change things to make them strong. Ha, ha funny, don’t you lose your head, you’ve been strong this long now suck it up. de’Lambelle came running every time you cried, Now her head’s stuck up on a pole outside. Ha, ha very nice to know, that it’s finally over, time for you to go. Chorus: Repeat
Tim Mayfield - September 15, 2006 - Report this comment

The biggest problem is that Marie Antoinette was born November 2, 1755 and the Medieval period ended in 1450. That means Marie Antoinette was not a Medieval Woman.

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