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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Blow (When My Nose Hair Re-Grows)"
Original Song Title:
"Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)"
Original Performer:
Edison Lighthouse
Parody Song Title:
"I Can't Blow (When My Nose Hair Re-Grows)"
Parody Written by:
Naked Jane
The Lyrics
Some of us girls are grooming-challenged. Although this is not necessarily about me, you understand.
My nose is so hairy
Fact is, it’s so scary
I have it trimmed by seasoned pros
There’s no air flow
When my nose hair re-grows
It clogs up my nose – can’t breathe!
When a sneeze is comin’
People start to runnin’
Warn their neighbors “thar she blows!”
But I can’t blow
When my nose hair re-grows
So I just explode… you see
Bought a power trimmer
That gave me just a glimmer
Of hope that I could keep it in fair control
But soon’s I tried to trim it
My trimmer reached its limit
Now I’m five hundred bucks in the hole
Grooming’s all but fruitless
So my nose is useless
Just watch me stop to smell a rose:
See my nose close
As my nose hair re-grows
Can’t sneeze, smell a rose… or breathe
Nose hair’s thick and curly
(Especially for a girly
Who otherwise is blessed with a ton of charm)
I’m really quite a catch, for
My nose hair’s only matched by
The bushes growing under my arms!
Match-dot-com’s frustrating
Cause I’m always dating
But here’s how it always goes:
When some Joe Blow sees my nose hair re-grow
He doesn’t propose to me!
Fact is, it’s so scary
I have it trimmed by seasoned pros
There’s no air flow
When my nose hair re-grows
It clogs up my nose – can’t breathe!
When a sneeze is comin’
People start to runnin’
Warn their neighbors “thar she blows!”
But I can’t blow
When my nose hair re-grows
So I just explode… you see
Bought a power trimmer
That gave me just a glimmer
Of hope that I could keep it in fair control
But soon’s I tried to trim it
My trimmer reached its limit
Now I’m five hundred bucks in the hole
Grooming’s all but fruitless
So my nose is useless
Just watch me stop to smell a rose:
See my nose close
As my nose hair re-grows
Can’t sneeze, smell a rose… or breathe
Nose hair’s thick and curly
(Especially for a girly
Who otherwise is blessed with a ton of charm)
I’m really quite a catch, for
My nose hair’s only matched by
The bushes growing under my arms!
Match-dot-com’s frustrating
Cause I’m always dating
But here’s how it always goes:
When some Joe Blow sees my nose hair re-grow
He doesn’t propose to me!
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| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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Jane - The problem gets worse as you get older...lol. Fun job here (it certainly didn't "blow"). ;D
Ticklish subject...worthy of a spoof...you've trimmed it well.
Thanks for the generous comments and scores!
The other title was better, because it scanned to the title of the OS (Original Song). Coulda' fixed that here with
"Can't Blow (When My Nose Hair Re-Grows)"
I like the parenthetical part syllable-matching the original title - "Rosemary Goes" isn't exactly easy.
I'm a sucker for far-stretched, irrelevant references -- Moby Dick, old saying about stopping to smell the roses, etc., but toward the end, this parody really turned into "the pits". ;)
Naturally, would have loved to see a cont-inuation to Australia (The Land Down Under) --
"Wax job or landing strip, clean shave or merkin? ", but overall, this parody was axillant. (Extra points if you got that without looking it up.)
555, and the "wax job" line was a quote from
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews87.shtml
The "Australia" ref was to a parody that went over the heads -- or maybe, *under* the heads -- of some readers:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/raypetersonelvispresley4.shtml
555, and welcome, even as this writer ponders retirement. Oh, and if you want to nail the scansion/pacing/meter/prosody/whatever the first time, every time, there's a two-page, simple, foolproof method here:
http://home.earthlink.net/~tommythedancingturtle/id3.html
"Can't Blow (When My Nose Hair Re-Grows)"
I like the parenthetical part syllable-matching the original title - "Rosemary Goes" isn't exactly easy.
I'm a sucker for far-stretched, irrelevant references -- Moby Dick, old saying about stopping to smell the roses, etc., but toward the end, this parody really turned into "the pits". ;)
Naturally, would have loved to see a cont-inuation to Australia (The Land Down Under) --
"Wax job or landing strip, clean shave or merkin? ", but overall, this parody was axillant. (Extra points if you got that without looking it up.)
555, and the "wax job" line was a quote from
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews87.shtml
The "Australia" ref was to a parody that went over the heads -- or maybe, *under* the heads -- of some readers:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/raypetersonelvispresley4.shtml
555, and welcome, even as this writer ponders retirement. Oh, and if you want to nail the scansion/pacing/meter/prosody/whatever the first time, every time, there's a two-page, simple, foolproof method here:
http://home.earthlink.net/~tommythedancingturtle/id3.html
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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