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Song Parodies -> "Under Covers At The Nursing Home"
Original Song Title:
"The Cover Of The Rolling Stone"
Original Performer:
Dr. Hook And The Medicine Show
Parody Song Title:
"Under Covers At The Nursing Home"
Parody Written by:
Dee Range
The Lyrics
It's ironic that the human species spends the first two and the last few years of life incontinent. This parody tries to put some humor into how we all age miserably, it is NOT trying to make fun of people in nursing homes. My grandmother spent the last twenty three years of her life in a nursing home, which is where I got the inspiration for this song
I'm an old bald shaker
With a new pace-maker
I use Depends every time I go
I look for some beauty but to tell you the truth
I do better at the dog shows
We look green in the gills
Already reading our wills
But what we still dread the most
Is the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home
Chorus
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(Doh) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(No) You won't see no smiling face
Under covers at the nursing home
I know some creaky old ladies
Using Rogaine daily
And they void right in their jeans
I'm just a poor old no-hair fattie
Starvin' on this cuisine
Now we're all resigned
'Bout our behinds
Our behinds are ready to blow
It's the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my bladder-better jump out
(Row) Cause if I don't I'll drown-get a pump out
(No) You won't see my smilin' face
Under covers at the nursing home
We've got a lot of brittle
Ice age blue haired poopers
Who come up to me and say
"You want a piece of old Cindy or Lulu
There'll never be a better day"
They got all the teeth
That money can buy
But at night they're soakin' all alone
I think I'll do both witches
Soon as I change my britches
I'm the lover at the nursing home
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(DOH) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(Yo) Hope tonight is a drier place
Under covers at the nursing home
With a new pace-maker
I use Depends every time I go
I look for some beauty but to tell you the truth
I do better at the dog shows
We look green in the gills
Already reading our wills
But what we still dread the most
Is the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home
Chorus
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(Doh) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(No) You won't see no smiling face
Under covers at the nursing home
I know some creaky old ladies
Using Rogaine daily
And they void right in their jeans
I'm just a poor old no-hair fattie
Starvin' on this cuisine
Now we're all resigned
'Bout our behinds
Our behinds are ready to blow
It's the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my bladder-better jump out
(Row) Cause if I don't I'll drown-get a pump out
(No) You won't see my smilin' face
Under covers at the nursing home
We've got a lot of brittle
Ice age blue haired poopers
Who come up to me and say
"You want a piece of old Cindy or Lulu
There'll never be a better day"
They got all the teeth
That money can buy
But at night they're soakin' all alone
I think I'll do both witches
Soon as I change my britches
I'm the lover at the nursing home
Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(DOH) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(Yo) Hope tonight is a drier place
Under covers at the nursing home
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 18 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
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Dee - Sad, but funny and too-often true. 5's. In a similar vein you might like my "49 Geezers", although you may be too young to know the original Crosby, Stills, Nash song from 1969, "49 Bye-Byes"...
That's me in a couple of years. Gonna vote while I still remember how.
a masterpiece...funniest one i've read today
I had a job that occasion took my work into those places. I learned to check with the nurses on the condition of the resident before I approached them. one time, I walked in on a naked 85-year old woman. I told the nurse, and she said, "Where's your sense of adventure?" I told her Indiana Jones didn't have THAT much sense of adventure.
I donīt wanna go... ... ... that way! And therefore it is my goal to die by being shot, at age 90+, by a guy, any guy, sub-25, whoīs jealous because I have stolen his girlfriend. (Thatīll probably have to be guy with an inflatable girlfriend, but anyway). ;-)
Paul, John, alvin, Rick, and KI, thank you very much for the kind comments
This was way too funny but also way too true. Just how you go in one of these places probably just "depends".
Awww.... Poignant, yet witty!
Guy and J.D., thanks
I don't wanna laugh...but I can't help myself...555
Kristof, thanks
Funny but depressing knowing that this fate await me too. Come on high tech medicine! Put an end to the misery of old age before I get there.
mac, thanks
I love Love LOVE this, Dee!!! Hilarious! 5s...=)
Arwen, thank you very much
An excellent addition to the nursing home genre! Congratulations on a song well-conceived and well-executed. d;:^)
Bob, thank you
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