Grandma Got Molested By A Reindeer
on a walk to our house, Christmas Eve
she said that there was no sign of Santa
but Rudolph's just too pervy to believe!

granted, she'd been drinking eggnog
mixed it with brandy & gin
and yeah, hopped up on medication
but, she sure looked disheveled, when she came in

so she showed us, without warning
evidence of the attack
she had hoof prints in her wrinkles
said to narrowly escape, she kicked it's sack

Grandma Got Molested By A Reindeer
on a walk to our house, Christmas Eve
she said that there was no sign of Santa
but Rudolph's just too pervy to believe!

now we're on the hunt with Grandpa
he no takey things so well
says he'll rip off some reindeer balls
vows to send that red-nosed S.O.B. to #3!!!

things might get awkward for Grandma...
when she opens up her gifts
see, I got her a salt shaker...
which resembles the guy who just sucked her ^!^$
(saggy ^!^$!)

Grandma Got Molested By A Reindeer
on a walk to our house, Christmas Eve
she said that there was no sign of Santa
but Rudolph's just too pervy to believe!

now the turkey's in the roaster
it was plain awkward to stuff (sighs)
as Grandma recounts her story
but we'll be eating soon, Gran, enough's enough!

she's warning our friends & neighbors
better stay in, from the cold!
if you ever see a reindeer
better watch it, 'cause they really like 'em old!

Grandma Got Molested By A Reindeer
on a walk to our house, Christmas Eve
she said that there was no sign of Santa
but Rudolph's just too pervy to believe!

get him, Grandpa!
Grandma Got Molested By A Reindeer
on a walk to our house, Christmas Eve
introduced that deer to cousin Anna
the things she's doing to him, make me heave!

Naughty Rudolph!