A long, long time ago
I began the trailhead
Leaving cars and showers way behind
And I knew if I swung my pic'
That even if the dirt was thick
The trail I worked on would be redefined
But sev'ral times my feet would shiver
Whenever we would cross that river
Up the trail we panted
The ground was mostly slanted
And then we stopped to set up tents
The tent poles used were not yet bent
But it beats the hell outta payin' rent
When you can sleep outside

So
My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
After ten straight days my tent becomes a pig-sty
But at least it mostly keeps my stuff dry
kinda, sorta keeps my stuff dry-y-y

Does your tent stand up in wind,
And do you have faith in where it's pinned?
Maybe you should check, like now
Ahh, do you believe this thunderstorm?
Can rain gear also keep you warm
And is that hail that's belting me
Ow, OWWWW!
Well I know hard work is good for health
But why can't this rock-wall build itself?
I can't get this trail fla-a-at
And some wind just stole my ha-a-AAAAT
Well I left the trail as it rose like steam
And chased it all the way to the stream
And lost my glasses in between
The day my hard-hat flied

And then I noticed
There, there, I have soaked underwear
And an evil kinda beetle right now lives in my hair
And my tent blew away but I really don't care
I just hope I don't run into a bear
I already need underwear

Now for ten days, we've been felling trees
And swatting millions of licky-bees
And some guy broke the water pump (Although it wasn't his fault)
Oh, last night, we had ham-cheese stew
So this morning was devoted to Number Two
And the place where I sleep has a huge lu-u-ump
With the garbage we can turn and fit
It is so much fun just burning it
The bear-hang isn't u-used
While the wood stove gets abu-u-u-UUUSED
Well the day gets old and the fire grows
And I forget my big, numb toes
As we experiment on oreos
The day my oreo fried

My stomach died and
Oww, oww, dig a cat-hole right now
To much yard-O gets retard-o and brings sweat to my brow
I wake up each day to smells and sounds of a cow
I relieve myself to sound of Ker-Pow
Once again that sound is KER-POW

Call-out, all-out, why'd the burb' just stall out
The trailer rocks as the spinners fall out
A tow-truck should be coming soon
Hey swamper, something isn't right
I still see our "check engine' light
And I think that thing has been on since last June
Oh, and up at Glacier, it would seem
That we'll spend days knee-deep in stream
The sponsor's new design
Means we'll have to undermi-i-I-INE
Oh, the more the sponsor would inspect
The more of upstream would get wrecked
To check the check dam we'd just checked
The day my whole crew cried

We lost our minds when
Damn, damn, build another check-dam
Freedom drains drive me insane when there just isn't a plan
And that "voted BEST pie' sign is really a sham
So grab all the huckleberries you can
Make a better pie in your OWN DAMN pan

And still we'd up at dawn and go
Sometimes cold and in beds of snow
With no socks left that were still dry
So come on, let's start moving, circle up!
And stretch with Mystic Tea in your cup
"Cause soon it will be time to say good-bye
And as I watched a tree get felled
I noticed just how much I smelled
Nobody placed the blame
"Cause we all smelled the sa-a-a-AME
And as the flames warmed up the dinner grill
We all forgot the windy chill
I just hope my crew assumes good-will
Along the homeward ride

You see I farted and
Cough, hack, first it starts in the back
I broke wind so crack a window, it's corrosive to packs
My boot soles are full of holes but as I reach for a snack
It occurs to me that we won't be back
My crew will not be coming ba-a-ack

We built some cairns and scratched some trail
The cheese got good as the bread got stale
We overall had lots of fun
We broke some tools and lost some more
"Cause that kinda stuff is WAY HARDCORE
And for "Merica I'm sure we got things do-o-o-o-one
And I would find it quite remarking
When cows would run from Nesta's barking
Because my poles are all bent
I'll miss that hole-y wall tent
I'm tired now, I cannot rhyme
But I won't forget that uphill climb
Or how I had an awesome time
I'm glad that I a-pplied

So let me end with
My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
After ten straight days my tent becomes a pig-sty
So then now's the time that I'll say good-bye
Next spike there are new things to fry-y-y

And once again it's
My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
I am thankin' God I found a tent that stays dry
So then now's the time that I'll say good-bye