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Song Parodies -> "Trail-Workin' Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Trail-Workin' Guy"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I wrote this specifically for myself and my fellow crew members. There are way too many inside jokes to explain, but I will post a thread in the forum when I can to explain some of the references as well as inform those interested about my time in Montana. The pacing is also not wonderful in certain areas. Sorry. I found certain lines that I liked and sometimes they just didn't mesh with the original. I hope you can all enjoy it and join me out on the trail for a couple of stanzas. Grab a polaski and some Oreos and lets go.
A long, long time ago
I began the trailhead
Leaving cars and showers way behind
And I knew if I swung my pic'
That even if the dirt was thick
The trail I worked on would be redefined
But sev'ral times my feet would shiver
Whenever we would cross that river
Up the trail we panted
The ground was mostly slanted
And then we stopped to set up tents
The tent poles used were not yet bent
But it beats the hell outta payin' rent
When you can sleep outside

My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
After ten straight days my tent becomes a pig-sty
But at least it mostly keeps my stuff dry
kinda, sorta keeps my stuff dry-y-y

Does your tent stand up in wind,
And do you have faith in where it's pinned?
Maybe you should check, like now
Ahh, do you believe this thunderstorm?
Can rain gear also keep you warm
And is that hail that's belting me
Well I know hard work is good for health
But why can't this rock-wall build itself?
I can't get this trail fla-a-at
And some wind just stole my ha-a-AAAAT
Well I left the trail as it rose like steam
And chased it all the way to the stream
And lost my glasses in between
The day my hard-hat flied

And then I noticed
There, there, I have soaked underwear
And an evil kinda beetle right now lives in my hair
And my tent blew away but I really don't care
I just hope I don't run into a bear
I already need underwear

Now for ten days, we've been felling trees
And swatting millions of licky-bees
And some guy broke the water pump (Although it wasn't his fault)
Oh, last night, we had ham-cheese stew
So this morning was devoted to Number Two
And the place where I sleep has a huge lu-u-ump
With the garbage we can turn and fit
It is so much fun just burning it
The bear-hang isn't u-used
While the wood stove gets abu-u-u-UUUSED
Well the day gets old and the fire grows
And I forget my big, numb toes
As we experiment on oreos
The day my oreo fried

My stomach died and
Oww, oww, dig a cat-hole right now
To much yard-O gets retard-o and brings sweat to my brow
I wake up each day to smells and sounds of a cow
I relieve myself to sound of Ker-Pow
Once again that sound is KER-POW

Call-out, all-out, why'd the burb' just stall out
The trailer rocks as the spinners fall out
A tow-truck should be coming soon
Hey swamper, something isn't right
I still see our "check engine' light
And I think that thing has been on since last June
Oh, and up at Glacier, it would seem
That we'll spend days knee-deep in stream
The sponsor's new design
Means we'll have to undermi-i-I-INE
Oh, the more the sponsor would inspect
The more of upstream would get wrecked
To check the check dam we'd just checked
The day my whole crew cried

We lost our minds when
Damn, damn, build another check-dam
Freedom drains drive me insane when there just isn't a plan
And that "voted BEST pie' sign is really a sham
So grab all the huckleberries you can
Make a better pie in your OWN DAMN pan

And still we'd up at dawn and go
Sometimes cold and in beds of snow
With no socks left that were still dry
So come on, let's start moving, circle up!
And stretch with Mystic Tea in your cup
"Cause soon it will be time to say good-bye
And as I watched a tree get felled
I noticed just how much I smelled
Nobody placed the blame
"Cause we all smelled the sa-a-a-AME
And as the flames warmed up the dinner grill
We all forgot the windy chill
I just hope my crew assumes good-will
Along the homeward ride

You see I farted and
Cough, hack, first it starts in the back
I broke wind so crack a window, it's corrosive to packs
My boot soles are full of holes but as I reach for a snack
It occurs to me that we won't be back
My crew will not be coming ba-a-ack

We built some cairns and scratched some trail
The cheese got good as the bread got stale
We overall had lots of fun
We broke some tools and lost some more
"Cause that kinda stuff is WAY HARDCORE
And for "Merica I'm sure we got things do-o-o-o-one
And I would find it quite remarking
When cows would run from Nesta's barking
Because my poles are all bent
I'll miss that hole-y wall tent
I'm tired now, I cannot rhyme
But I won't forget that uphill climb
Or how I had an awesome time
I'm glad that I a-pplied

So let me end with
My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
After ten straight days my tent becomes a pig-sty
So then now's the time that I'll say good-bye
Next spike there are new things to fry-y-y

And once again it's
My, my, I'm a trail-workin' guy
There's retreading and reheading and a wide open sky
I am thankin' God I found a tent that stays dry
So then now's the time that I'll say good-bye
Copyright 2006+ Glen Stollberger

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Ill read the thread later,but this was still awesome! 555!
2nz - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate it.
AFW - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Expert slanting to a great old classic...
2nz - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW. - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I'll just brag here for a moment and say that I'm the only Amirighter who's seen this performed live. KER-POW. I know you were hesitant to put this up, Glen, because it's so loaded with in-jokes, but I'm glad you did. Now you can add a(nother) skillfully done "American Pie" parody to your impressive catalog.
2nz - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Right you are about the hesitation, Spaff. I'm glad too. Now I have even more of an excuse to fill the forums with my ventures out in Montana, and some other sometimes Mormon-filled states. Thanks again. For everything.
Susanna Viljanen - December 04, 2006 - Report this comment
This version was cool. As a Finn I can well relate this - while Finland is one of the most urbanized and industrialized countries in the world, we haven't lost our touch in the nature, and usually even city-slickers like me are woods-wise. I live pretty much outdoors life myself; I am most familiar at the sea and archipelago, but I've done hiking as well.
Agrimorfee - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, I have a pet peeve on in-jokes, but on the other hand, there was some real poetry flowing through this. It read like the diary of a trail-worker (or whatever it is your job was); you really captured the sights, sounds and SMELLS(!) of the entire venture. This was pretty darned cool.
Red Ant - December 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Lots of great lines in here Glen; I loved "But why can't this rock-wall build itself?" and "And an evil kinda beetle right now lives in my hair", amongst others. It did progress toward more in-jokes as it went on, but your thread explained most of them. Top work. 555. PLEASE post the video performance soon.
Cat - December 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What an adventure! I'm sure the members of your crew would indeed understand it better, but I sure liked it. (though I doubt I'd be doing anything like that soon...)
Max Power - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - In this parody you managed to get a more personal feeling through than most people succed to do through their real personal blogs. Much better than I hoped for when I read the intro, "inside jokes" for the writers friends are mostly a warning sign as red and bright as reindeer Rudolph's old nose. :-)
bobpiecheese - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Anyone who attempts 'Yankee Pie' gets points in my book. So do people who work in in-jokes that nobody really gets. Well done, 2nz.
Kristof Robertson - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Although (as you said) it's loaded with in-jokes, there's plenty here for everyone to enjoy. Wonderful stuff. 555
tomario - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
in-jokes or not it's still has mass appeal good work 555
Matthias - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I've worked on a trail about 2 years ago for a Boy Scout project thingy, in Philmont Scout Base, in New Mexico so I can relate to this
Jack Wilson - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM)Awesome job! 555
Glen S - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Susanna. Both the mountains and the beaches can be excellent for hiking. I personally like places where the two are very close together.

Thanks for confirming my hopes Agri. Smells are sometimes the strongest in our memory.

Thanks Red. 'rock-wall build itself' was a favorite of my crew members too. Sadly, there were no videos of my performance of this so I don't think this one's getting into recording very soon. I'm trying to put up another video soon though.

Glad you liked it Cat. If you ever decide to venture out to the Montana area, I'd highly recommend Glacier National Park as the place to see. If you don't mind hiking some, it's the best of the best. Make sure to catch the sunrises and sunsets.

Ditto, Max. Thanks for stopping by.

Thank you for that, Peter. It truly makes me feel good to know that some of my story was captured in this and that you all can share in it, even a little.

Thank YOU, Bob. I must admit, done correctly, in-jokes make me envious of those who understand them. I should put up another installment on my thread to explain some more things soon.

Very good to hear, Kristof. Thanks.

Sweet. Thanks tomario.

Excellent Matthias. Scouts was what gave me the taste of outdoors that I needed to know I wanted to do something like this. I have some friends who hiked the Philmont trail for two weeks during three consecutive summers while I was in scouts.

And last but not least (for now), thanks Jack.
Michael McVey - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
I think this should convince anyone that the great outdoors may be a good place to visit, but it is not a good place to live!---MM
wannabemustangjockey - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wow. Another great parody of a MONSTER of an OS (might I mention I've done it twice myself, but they were nowhere near perfect). Nice job.
Stuart McArthur - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) wow, as well as being masterfully written (and ambitious too, choosing AmPie) I think you've just invented a new genre, Glenn - the autobiparody - the detail is what made this work because I felt like I was actually there with you, like with all good autobiogs - and by detail I mean stuff like "And that "voted BEST pie' sign is really a sham" which was perfect - not HUGEly funny, but plenty enough gags due its length - bravo - 555
Johnny D - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Belly up to the Waterbar and order yourself 555 Talus Tonics on the Scree!
Phil Alexander - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Like, er, wow... impressively told, Glen. Makes me think: I have a few autobiographical parodies that I've not submitted here as I didn't think people'd be interested. Come to think of if, they still wouldn't be ;-)
The Charnstar - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
This is very much confusing... funny, but confusing... 5-5-5
Tim Mayfield - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not all the funny lines were inside jokes. Loved reading this one.
Glen S - January 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks and true that, Mike. Bear hangs AWAY from the campsite are the key.

I've tried this one twice myself, so BOO-YAH brother. I remember liking your version of this. Anyhow, thanks wbmj.

Thank you Stu. May your forehead grow like the mighty oak. Bravo yourself, for your medal this month.

Thanks JD. I never know what you're on, but I always want some.

I argued with myself so much about whether to post this one. I was certain nobody would get it. But somehow, this parody has made me both wrong and happy about it. You never know what people will identify with, for what it's worth. Thanks man.

It sure is. Thanks Charn.

Thank you, Tim. I loved reading yours as well. And I also enjoyed the video of a bunch of asian guys singing along to your OS that I stumbled on when searching this song on youtube. Anyhow, thanks again.
John Jenkins - January 07, 2007 - Report this comment
As a backpacker, I really appreciate those who maintain the trails. And, as a parodist, I really appreciate fine parodies like this. So thank you, 2nz, for lines such as the "Call-out/all-out/stall out/fall out" couplet.
Glen S - January 23, 2007 - Report this comment
As you can tell, I really liked it. Thanks for stopping by John J. It's an excellent side effect of this parody that I get to find out which parody writers are outdoor people, and which ones still haven't converted yet. On the off chance you check my response to your response at some point, how have you been?

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