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Song Parodies -> "Quinces"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Thank goodness for Scarlett O'Hara's use of quince seed jelly to smooth her hair, or it would have been hard to think up enough stuff to fill the O.S..... :-P
Jelly jar delight
Sate your palette break of day
Cookout or a lunch array
On slice of loaf or parked just on a roll
Meadow: there it grows
Snatched from trees 'fore the bitter snows
Stacked aglaze in the raffish rows
In cellars where the jars of mason stand

How this fruit to brand?
What's it right i-den-ti-ty?
I'm kind of baffled by their pear-ity
And how they're kind of fuzzily
Until they freshen and increase on bough
Mature they glisten now

Hairy hairy fright?
Pomade now's from fruitly leas
Hurl those seeds in violent squeeze
Construct from quinces nice-y mousse for 'do'
Disarranging view:
Morning yields a rumpled mane
Coiffured tresses style reclaimed
Hair smoothed beneath the product's salving strands

Though you are not bland
Multiple your uses be
And still I'm puzzled by your fam-i-ly
Have you implied a rose to be?
They are not peaches, nor are apples now
We like them anyhow

Poor oblong' cydonia!
You've still enough to do:
When Atalanta paused, mid-flight
For some race-bound quince delight
And Parris gave his Aphrodit' some too
But I could have told you quinces
In verse were ever leant to stun parodi-ful a view

Hearty fruit delight
Argentina's got a haul
Uruguay, from trees they fall
Wish I could grow in States sans fireblight, drat
And the Owl and Pussycat
In Ed Lear's poem, dined 'neath the moon
Then gobbled quince with runc'ble spoon
My! Such a tidbit, son, you may not know

Hindenburg, afloat
Flew through sky with this fruit, see
Then fire and stuff: "Oh, the quince-manity!"
Quince now, not trans-atlantic, be
I bet you're wishin' we this quince thing still
Perhaps you've had your fill...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   15

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
beautifully poetic AND it
Rick C - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, alvin said exactly what I was going to say so....what he said! 555
John Barry - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Quince for "Quinces."
Spoof-Man - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
best one today,555
Johnny D - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
What Rick C said! 555
Meriadoc - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone! This jar of quinces has been 'on the shelf' for well over a year- we finally got around to finishing it....
Patrick J - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
You swine ! I'll never be able to hear this song again without thinking "mature they glisten still".
Stuart McArthur - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL at the opening comment, Pippin - and I'm tipping that "Poor oblong' cydonia" is a line that I may never see anywhere else again (given I have an average human lifespan) - great subbing - 555
mandamoo - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
So this one took a while to come to fruition ? It was well worth the wait :)
mandamoo - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Ooops ! Well preserved too ! ;)
Meriadoc - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat, Stu and Moo.

And Stu, Merry is responsible for the opening comment....your penance: Use oblong' cydonia in a sentence five times in the next 24 hours...or alternately, locate another of our parodies using the word oblong.... ;-)
Peregrin - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks also to everyone. Stu, I see Merry beat me to a reply - for some reason when I saw your comment I *knew* it was gonna invoke a response from her :) My response would have been that before we started writing this parody, had you asked me what or who Oblong Cydonia was, I would have guessed that he played open side flanker for the Springboks at the SCG last weekend ;-)

P.S. We *do* have another parody with 'oblong' in it....!
Agrimorfee - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Welcome back, your presence brightens the world. Poetic and goofy, loved it. 555
Meriadoc - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agri. We're glad to be back in force! :-)
Peregrin - August 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks also Agri-M. Trouble with being in a twosome is that it takes two to tango !!!
wandlimb - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Is it a quince-dence that these lyrics are as intellectual as Don McLean's?

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