A long, long time ago,
In a country far away,
An action movie was being shot.
The title was "House of the Dead'.
The fans were horrified with dread
To see the film's ineptness and senseless plot.

The critics blamed the man responsible
For making this film so abominable.
Uwe Boll was his name.
This man should be ashamed!
His poor productions made us jeer,
And his cardboard actors just seem queer.
The next 'Ed Wood' was finally here,
The day Boll KG rose.

Oh

My! My! This here video game guy,
His directing and bad editing,
Zap the audience dry.
And Roger Ebert wiped a tear from his eye,
Saying,
"His films truly suck, I could cry!
His films truly suck, I could cry!"

Did you know this cheesy puff,
Doesn't know when Earth has had enough,
Of his abysmal pointless scripts?
Oh, his camera work is the worst I've seen,
Cause he's got the brains of a nerdy teen.
But he probably doesn't give a flying shit.

Well, look what he's done to Dungeon Siege,
He's cast Reynolds as some medieval sleaze!
A horrid joke, it's true,
But there's nothing we can do!
Every movie buff thinks he's a big disgrace.
Leonard Maltin ought to slap him in the face,
And say: "Go back to college, you total waste!"
It's time Boll KG fell!

I started singing

My! My! This here video game guy,
His directing and bad editing,
Zap the audience dry.
And Roger Ebert wiped a tear from his eye,
Saying,
"His films truly suck, I could cry!
His films truly suck, I could cry!"

Now we'll soon see his next film Bloodrayne,
Based on an action video game once again,
With vampires and a fighting chick.
'Alone In the Dark' had a guy telling the tale,
The stupidness of the intro was off the scale,
I'm sure Boll thought it sounded terrific.

Oh, the game fans are outraged, of course!
Will Uwe Boll show no remorse?
If he died, I'd be glad.
But right now, I'm steaming mad!
And more of his films are drawing near,
How much longer will we have to cope each year,
Of this man that Hollywood fears?
It's time Boll KG fell!

And I was singing

My! My! This here video game guy,
His directing and bad editing,
Zap the audience dry.
And Roger Ebert wiped a tear from his eye,
Saying,
"His films truly suck, I could cry!
His films truly suck, I could cry!"

I wish his films could be better for you,
But for Uwe Boll, that just isn't true.
And quite frankly, they all turned out gay.
We'll all fight in this epic war,
To wipe this guy right off the shores
From making another film in every way.

And in the streets the people scream
To demolish Boll's ambitious dreams,
To make more films on video games,
Cause we know they are lame!
And the fandoms I admired most,
Fell into Boll's hands and now they're toast!
He'll soon receive death threat notes by post,
The day Boll KG falls!

And I'll be singing

My! My! This here video game guy,
His directing and bad editing,
Zap the audience dry.
And Roger Ebert wiped a tear from his eye,
Saying,
"His films truly suck, I could cry!
His films truly suck, I could cry!"

We'll be singing

My! My! This here video game guy,
His directing and bad editing,
Zap the audience dry.
And Roger Ebert wiped a tear from his eye,
Saying,
"Now it's time for Uwe to die!"