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Song Parodies -> "Shakespearean Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Shakespearean Pie"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

If music be the food of love, then parody be cheap dessert. Anyone for another slice of "Pie"?
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How, alas, poor Yorick's jokes drew groans
He'd dance and sing and kiss my hand
Like Elsinore was Neverland
But then he went and joined the Skull and Bones

And now, Horatio, I get shivers
With every line the ghost delivers
All the Globe has been dark
'Cause something rots in Denmark

I can't recall a thing as weird
As when - dear old Daddy - reappeared
To say that he'd been incense-eared
The day King Hamlet died

To - be - or to choose not to be?
That's the question I'm digestin' in my so-lil-o-quy
& When fortune aims its slings and arrows at me
Tell me how I'm gonna live through Act III?
Answer, please, iambically

Did you like Shakespeare in Love?
And did you rewind for scansion of
Gwyneth with her wardrobe gone?
Now, do you believe in English Lit?
Is brevi-ty the soul of wit?
If so then why's this bloody play - so - long?

Well, I know this role has real cachet
For each Branagh and Olivier
Mel Gibson draws blood nice
Man, I dig that Passion of Christ!

I was a young, great Dane in British schools
With my pet Ophelia and a dad who RULES
But I knew we'd - been played for fools
The day King Hamlet died

So here's the question:
To - be - or choose rather to be
Suicidal or to idle apathetically,
Or IS volition all it's cracked up to be
If "to die, to sleep, to dream" is love-ly?
Um, explain the question to me...

Less than TWO MONTHS since the obit ran
And Lord knows, frailty, thy name's wo - man:
My dumbass uncle wears Dad's ring
So I set the stage for a royal sting
What a script! I thought, The play's the thing
Where I'll catch - the conscience of the king

Oh, and while the king enjoyed the show
The players showed him whack his bro
The king stomped off and cried
O!!! J. yelled Homicide!

So Let's Make a Deal, Queen Mother, who
Is bee-hind curtain number two?
How now, a rat? I sliced him through
The day Polonius died

I was thinking...
To - be - or to go with Plan B?
Is it nobler just to soldier on Shakespeareanly
Or fly off to - the undiscovered coun-try?
Frickin' conscience makes a coward of me
Get me to a fun nunner-y

Hanky panky? Nope, Ophelia's cranky
Could she be ticked that I nailed that Yankee?
Maybe 'cause I knifed her daaaaaad?
She shouted Foul! in her wrath:
You'll never tread on my primrose path!
(Guess my joke 'bout "country matters" made her mad)

Now, the nymph went nutso north-northwest
Went'n' took a swim completely dressed
She sank just like a ship
So-o-o - here's the moral: skinny-dip!

Poor Laertes missed his tour de France
But, merde, this ain't no cheap romance
(Ask Guildenstern and Rosencrantz)
The day Ophelia died

And I was thinking...
To - be - or to other-than-be?
That's the question - screw depression - death sounds painless to me
This too too solid flesh should melt melt like brie
And resolve into a fondue - yum-my!
Serve it with some crumpets and tea

Oh, and there we were all in one place
Equipped with poison, swords, and Mace
With Fortune there to shape our ends
So come on - fence me nimble, fence me quick
Back-scratch me with your tainted prick
'Cause - Fie! - Bet your ass we're foiled again

So Laertes and I both got poked
Mom drank New Toxic Carb-Free Coke
The king was S.O.L.
Thus ends his sworded tale:

I said, My name ees Hamlet Junior, guy
You keeled my dad; prepare to die
(Yep, I stole that from The Princess Bride)
The day King Claudius died

I was thinking...
To - be - or choose alternately?
That's the question I'm pro-cessin' in Scene I of Act III
To end these shocks - or bear 'em heart-achingly,
Quoting Sonnet Number 73?
(That one's too depressing for me)

[Soft you now]

I met a girl named Juliet
And her boyfriend, whose name I forget
(What's in a name, man, anyway?)
I led Othello to his death
And made life a bitch for King Macbeth
Till the Bard said, Dude, you're in a different play

So meanwhile back at Elsinore
A bunch of guys - come to mop the floor
It's Fortinbras's legions
I guess we're now Norwegians

And the three co-stars I riled most:
Laertes, Mom, and King Claudi-os
Went off to hang with Daddy's ghost
The day that Hamlet died

I see dead people...

To - be - or choose oppositely?
Are we tougher if we suffer indefatigably
Or take up arms against a turbulent sea
Of the troubles fortune's slinging at me?
Screw it - let's go watch some TV

We were thinking...

To - be - or to not freaking be
That's the question we're obsessin' 'bout interminably
But as for us, the answer's clear: NOT TO BE
Caught in THIS Shake-spear-e-an trag-e-dy!

~~~~~ THE END ~~~~~

Good-night, sweet prince.

I'm not quite dead...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 115

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   6
 4   12
 5   92

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Cookie-man - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW! You sure do know your Shakespeare. Excellent work! 555!
Johnny D - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Fivesooth, Fivesooth, Fivesooth. Congratulations, Spaff --- this parody of "American Pie" is truly a masterpiece. I had great fun reading it --- the pacing is superb, the humor is brilliant, and to both thine own self & The Bard's own self 'tis true. Well done! :-)
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff - Figured I'd better read this one first so I could finish it before ChuckyG posts TOMORROW'S entries...Wish I'd had this for English Lit Class back in High School, much better than "Cliff Notes"...5's
Dee Range - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I bet God writes better than this, occasionally
Ashkicksass - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
There is nothing I can say that will do justice to this masterpiece, Spaff.
John Barry - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
A masterpiece from the Bard of Spaffcom.
Leo Jay - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Ugh. Number one, I hate being the 48th person to comment on a parody...or the 9th...whatever...because, without fail, someone has stolen my comment. Of course, my comment was "I'm speechless," but Ashkicksass stole my thunder none the less.

I will say, however, that considering the timeliness of this piece, following my plea in the 4th stanza of my own submission this week:

It is clear that you're trying to show me your knowledge of the Bard (and my favorite play, by the way) so that you can win my heart. It's just so obvious, Spaff. Sheesh... 5s...=)
Kristof Robertson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
You're a bit like the Olympics, don't come around that often, but the anticipation is always high, and you never fail to deliver! Pity about the drugs controversy, though...:-) 555 (again)
The Thought Police - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Tee--Hee, Hear me laughing ,Spaffy ?/ Your poem is the home of all that's funny./ Now,ten "perfects" have been given to thee/ and now,here comes more"fives"to you from me/ pity,I can only give you three !
Claude Prez - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I'd give you fives but everyone does this song. C'mon, man, try a DIFFICULT one for once...
K1chyd - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Pace-ophelia-cs, encycl-ophelia-cs and other -ophelia-cs all hail the might Spaff.
alvin rhodes - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm truly impressed by this one....wonderful notch
Jack Wilson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Great parody! 555!
2nz - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice parody, you Prosperian, Nobler than thy anus, Vacuous, King Richard the turd, Mal-odorous, overachieving, bubble, bubble, spoiled brain rubble, trash-bearded ankle yanker. Nice parody, I say.
Phil Alexander - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Beautiful, Spaff. Ah well, that's another SOTM I'm not going to win ;-)
Bob O'Mara - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
This has to be the most masterfully crafted "American Pie" parody I have ever read! Very well done, pacing perfect, hilarious to the extreme. My favorite part was the completely random "Yep, I stole that from The Princess Bride". Truely a classic parody if I ever saw one!
Billy Florio - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
You're such a Ham-let, Spaff...that was a horrible, good job
Mari D - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
What a piece of work is thine parody!
Stray Pooch - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff, I haven't visited in a while and I am DAMN glad I did tonight. This is incredible! You touched on just about every important point in the play; You made wonderful puns; You mentioned Branagh and Olivier in the same line (somewhere Ken's heart just skipped a beat); You threw in hilarious asides (like the "I see dead people" line) and just generally demonstrated a superb knowledge of Hamlet and the Bard. You even managed a kick-ass election year pun putting Yorick in his grave and the Ivy League at the same time! It's almost an afterthought that your pacing and attention to the original song was excellent - and that made doubly difficult by the intricate detail of the play you put into that format. Tour-de-force is overused but this deserves the term. Brilliant!
Johnny D - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff --- regarding your thesis "If music be the food of love, then parody be cheap dessert" --- the first two lines of the last verse of my parody "A Lamer Stupid Rhyme" show that I agree with you 100%:
Meriadoc - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
This was wonderful! Can't wait for the recording!
Steven Cavanagh - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
What rock through yonder window breaks? Lo, it is Spaff getting himself to a punnery. Bloody awesome, mate. We're all standing.
EmiLoca - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment My kingdom for an ounce of your talent. Truly amazing, I'll be coming back to this one maybe...five times a day...
Guy - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved the entire production but this line in particular really rocks:

Get me to a fun nunner-y

The higest vote getter I have ever seen on this site was another American Pie parody that pales in comparison.

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 514

Spaff you should double this total in both votes and comments. Will Robert Lund be doing this one? It's a total hit.
Guy - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Oops - my bad - I failed to notice that the American Pie parody referenced above was not comment enabled. - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny Dangle: Dang! - I'm starting to wonder if that "guaranteed total recall ability" package (which I bought off an infomercial for three easy installments of $79.95) is really all it's cracked up to be. I forgot about the clever way you tweaked the opening lines of Twelfth Night in your "A Lamer Stupid Rhyme." My apologies - I promise that THAT theft was unintentional. Thanks for reminding me of your lovely Procol Harum parody, however; that's the one that made me think of Phyllis Diller for the first time in years. I ended up name-dropping her in "Anyone But Bush," so thank you for letting me steal that idea too. I have now made it a goal to pillage your song one line at a time. Next on my list is "my keyboard is like cardboard." Heh heh.

To the rest of you: Thank you so much for your comments. You make me feel all warm and chocolatey. (I stole that from a TV commercial.) I will soon come back here and thank you each individually (a practice I stole from Melhi).

And, hey, if parody be dessert, give me excess of it.
Johnny D - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Mighty Spaff, I am honored to see any of my lines borrowed by you anytime...please go ahead! And thank you for your gracious comment. I hereby dub thee Swami Spaffalaughananda, Amiright's Resident Parody Guru! OM NAMAH SPAFFAYA! ;-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff, I´m figuring you´re more likely to see a respone to your comment and question on my Roxette parody here.:

The story of Roxette is this (I´ll try to keep it as short as possible): 20 years ago Per Gessle was the leader of 5 man band called "Gyllene Tider" (Golden Times) that only wrote songs in Swedish. After becoming the most popular band in the country they decided to make English versions of their best stuff and try their luck abroad under the name Roxette. They failed miserably and during the try they also more or less killed their career on the homefront. But Per wasn´t ready to give up, fired the other 4 guys, went into studio to record totally new material together with female singer Marie Fredriksson, also one of our most popular artists and with similar aspirations to make it big worldwide. From that duo´s second album the single "It must have been love" was picked as soundtrack to the movie "Pretty woman" and another single "The Look" made it to number 1 on the billbord list in the US, making them the third Swedish artist/band after Björn Skifs ("Hooked on a feeling" ca 1974) and ABBA to do that.

The "Pretty Woman" single deal was probably a thank you from the record company. Per is a very allround writer who have been writing anonymous for lots of other artists. Example: Two Ozzy Osbourne songs from the 90s was apparently penned by him though he´s not credited for them officially.

After Roxette´s latest world tour Marie Fredriksson fell ill with cancer, she´s supposed to survive but the band is on a break. Instead last year Per revitalised his Swedish career with a solo album, and this year he brought the old 5 man band back to life, recorded a new album that is the number 1 hit of the year here and headed out on a nationwide tour that have broken all sorts of stadium records, including ones held by Bruce Springsteen and the Rolling Stones.

If Marie Fredriksson will be up to it they plan to resurrect Roxette with a new album and tour in 2006.

And finally a shameless plug: I´ve made a new parody to your "A few of my resolutions", apparently it came up on a busy day during the weekend and noone noticed, or maybe it was the athletic subject, anyway, here´s the URL: - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Y'all protest too much, methinks. I reeeeeally appreciate all your kind and creative comments; they make this obsession even more compulsive. I was planning to write cheeky individual responses to each of you, but that would make this comment longer than the frickin' parody, so lemme just say:

Thanx, Brother Cookie & Johnny Dangle & P-Rob & Dee Liverance & Sister Kicksass & Johngleberry & Lee OJ & Sister Evenstar & Thought Fuzz & C4P & Peter chyd & Off Rhodes & Jackie & Looney 2nz & Philbo & Bobbo & Billy dba Florio & MAD & Brother Pooch & Smeagol & Stevenagh & AcoLime & GD'R!

And Peter: Thanx for all the Roxette info. I used to have "Look Sharp" and anxiously await an affordable (i.e., non-imported) Best Of. Also, the ooga-chaka cover of "Hooked on a Feeling" is one of my fave 70s guilty pleasures. Here in the States the "band" was called "Blue Swede." Horrible pun. I'll head over to your link now...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
3.14159265358979323846264 times as good as any other Don parody I've read. This one's clever humour, expert rhyming and intertextuality gave me the Shakes.
Melhi - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I swear, forsooth, great jobeth Spaff!
Tracie - August 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I sincerely apologize for not getting to this one sooner, but, alas, Lord Spaff, thou hadst me (and fives) from stanza one.
Guy - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM - Well maybe I have a shot at second place. Your many fine accomplishments are the mark for the rest of us to shoot for. Once again, I pay homage to your Spaffness. Do you have your acceptance speech written yet?
Ash - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) VERY nice. I like it.
Johnny D - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM August) I was the second reader to comment on this Spaff.commian-Masterpiece (see above...way, WAY above) .... and my comment still stands.

To quote a certain extraordinarily-gifted parody-writing-genius's gracious comment on my own American Pie parody "American Pride".....

"...It's like having to write 16 frickin' parodies for the price of one. 8 1/2 minutes of nothing but lyrics lyrics lyrics from the first second to the last..."

....That "extraordinarily-gifted parody-writing-genius" I referred to is none other than our beloved, and he is right --- if "Blinded By The Light" is the "Mt.Everest" of parody-challenges, then "American Pie" is the "K2". And Spaff, you have planted your flag most magnificently upon its summit.

Well done, my friend, and thank you for continuing to inspire the rest of us, each and every day! ;-)
2nz - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
My blind, stinking jealously at how good this is must have gotten the better of me earlier. This song is an endurance trial of rhyme and subject knowledge. Everything about this parody shows excellence of form and style. I think it's a testament to how good this is that I've never read the play on which this is mostly based and I still enjoy it. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've made myself jealous again so my earlier quasi-Shakespearian insult still stands.
Sweet Indigo - September 04, 2004 - Report this comment
What on earth are you on? And more importantly, can I have some? :)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) And here I was talking up rap parodies when the word count of this one outdoes the majority of them. I could seriously read this one over and over and still be in love with it... *ignore lame Shakespeare-in-love pun here*... the way that the chorus is different each time is the cherry on top of this enormously cream-packed masterpiece. - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Ralphing Brat (x2) & Grandmaster Mel & Tracie & Michaelopedia & Ash & Looney 2nz (again)!
Sweet Indigo: 1. The toilet. 2. Yuck.
Johnny Dangle: I'm convinced that you put more thought into commenting on AmIRighters' parodies than we put into writing them. You. Da. Man.
GD'R: Thanx again. To your earlier comment: I had a parody that ever-so-slowly reached the 100-rating mark, and then ever-so-quickly dropped back to 0. So I try to pretend not to worry too much about numbers.
Agrimorfee - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(Aug. 04 SOTM) Tears of joy run from my eyes reading this for the first time. We have a winner--again!
Arwen - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--What is even the point of me commenting on this a second time? It's still just as lame as it ever was...sheesh....;
Johnny D - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Methinks she doth protest too much.
Arwen - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, hell...half of my "I'm being totally sarcastic, and this parody is FABulous" wink is missing! Sheesh. But Spaff knows I'm kidding. Or he should.

Read my first comment from when the song was first posted, Johnny...I have a total crush on this parody...and probably always will. And it, like the blind and thoughtless parody that it is, will never return my affection...Bastard.
Johnny D - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Methinks you didst not getteth my joketh, AIIIEEEE! But thatteth isseth okayeth, becauseth I meantteth itteth inneth alleth goodeth funneth, yethh preciouthh yetthhh yetthhh what hath itteth gotteth innnnethhh ittethh pocketsesssssss ??? ;-D
Arwen - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hope you don't mind if I use fewer letters than you did, Mister D. Don't you hate it when you submit a comment...and then you realize...right afterward...that you're an idiot?

Oh, I got your joke alright...just a split second too late. I'd have the comment removed if I weren't so proud of the last line...which made me laugh...even if it didn't make anyone else laugh...
Johnny D - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
The last line to which thou dost refer did indeed make me chuckleth most respectfully, mi'Lady. ;-)
Arwen - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Well that's a relief!
Adagio - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM good one! 5's
Phil Nelson - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Awesome parody. So much stuff. I actually saw Shakespeare's first home in Stratford-upon-Avon when I was there once, when I was vacationing in England. Amazing parody.
John Jenkins - September 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This might be your best, and that is saying a lot. I particularly liked the way you justified putting "Pie" in your title. And I was also impressed your clever substitution for "helter skelter."
martha - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
as the others have said a real tour de force .. my personal fave lines are the verse which features Guildenstern and Rosencrantz......... - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Aggro & Sister Evenstar (again & again) & Johnny Divine (again & again) & Patagio & Phil Nelson (I'm envious) & martha my dear!

Johnkins: You made my day by commenting on the "hanky panky" line. I obsessed over that and it's 100% your fault; I honestly was trying to reach the bar you set so high with "Hocus-pocus - watch the Congress soak us" (in "Budget Surplus"). So - thank you and damn you.
Peregrin - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Great Work, Spaffster
Meriadoc - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) As above.
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(AUG SOTM) - As above also. Great work. 5's aplenty.
Claude Prez - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not nearly educated enough to catch more than a fraction of the references in this but I still love it; I'm pretty sure it's the only parody I've ever printed out. Songs of this caliber shouldn't be buried in the archives. And there should be a recording, dammit, even if it's just you singing over a cheesy midi in your Kermit voice. Come to think of it, that's exactly what needs to happen. Alright, maybe not but I think you get my point. And I don't want to get your hopes up, but there's a VERY GOOD chance you MIGHT get some points out of me in the SOTM. If I ever finish this long-ass comment and read the other entries.
AUGUST 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH GOLD MEDAL - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1746;image - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Gollum & Smeagol (again) & P-Rob (again)!
C4P: Hi-ho. Sounds like I owe you a new toner cartridge. Send me the bill.
Johnny "Helter Smelter" Divine: Thanx for the medal. I wear it non-stop.
Prof. Dan - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is absolutely incredible! I printed it off and read it to my english class. They thought it was a total riot! MOST IMPRESSIVE! - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Prof. Dan. English teachers may well be my favorite category of humans, so I'm honored.
John Jenkins - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't argue with Professor Dan. You worked a lot of great, humorous references in here and made it all flow. - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx for stopping by again, Johnkins. You class up the joint.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
And proudly, I am still a jealous bum. "Dude, you're in a different play" heh heh. May thou be damned, thy highness of humour, for thy cankersorous shard of Shakespearean culture. - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
2nz, I'm starting to wonder if all these blessings you're giving me are good for my health. Inexplicably, the other day my forehead started to grow like a mighty oak.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, since noone has posted about it HERE yet I'll be the first one to say "congrats" for having won the "Song of the Year" contest with this little silly ditty. :-)
Stuart McArthur - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
me two - congrats Spaff - it got my 5 votes - designing and building a parody's work enough, but you've built the whole town with this one - there's something comforting about having such an undisputed Song-Of-The-Year 2004 - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx a bazillion, PeterCHYD & Stuartiste. My next project will be setting Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" to a single verse of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
2004 SONG OF THE YEAR - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
FIRST PLACE,8407.0.html
Coryo Ellis - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment
555 thats it - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Coryo: OK then.

Gratuitous brag: I saw Don McLean in concert the other night. He promised early on in the two-hour show to "sing the hell out of that Madonna song," and he didn't disappoint. He tore all the way through "American Pie," threw in an extra instrumental verse, then repeated the first verse and a couple of extra choruses just so everyone could sing along some more. What a guy. I stuck around afterward and got his autograph. Nyah nyah.
Red Ant - December 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I've finally dragged my butt over here to see what won POTY last year. One hellacious effort Spaff. Even though much of this was lost on me I still LOLd in several places. You owe me a roll of paper towels and a new keyboard for making me spit soda all over it. Since copy/pasting the entire parody is a bit of overkill I suppose I'll cop out with TMGLTM. From a parody standpoint what's most impressive to me is varying all 7 choruses, which effectively gave you 50% more song to work with and probably 3 times as much work, which obviously paid off. Well, I guess that's about it....oh, since about 10 others shamelessly plugged here, I feel no shame in mine:
Cdaewa - June 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I stumbled on this site doing some research for work, and have been reading for about an hour now. In case Spaff ever comes back to look at this eighteen-month old parody I just had to leave a quick note to say that it is, undoubtedly, one of the five most ingenious things I have ever read in my life. I am in awe. Congratulations. - June 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Red: Sorry 'bout the keyboard; you should learn to swallow rather than spit. I just read your "Pie" parody and you obviously know what you're talking about with the "50% more song" bit, so muchas gracias. I'll try to work a Layne Staley reference into my next one.

Cdaewa: And *that* is, undoubtedly, one of the best compliments I've received in *mine.* Thank you verrrry much.
Jack Wilson - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Why doesnt this have a recording? - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Local Celeb: Because it hasn't been completed. Yet.
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah! Cool!
Cat - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Well Spaff...I've read this several times, but this is probably the only time an AmIRight parody has helped me in the "real" world so far. Guess what we're currently studying in Brit Lit? This actually is a great study guide in addition to being hilarious. - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Always glad to help out, Cat. Just remember, come test time, that O.J. isn't actually in Hamlet. I think he's in The Taming of the Shrew.
HERE'S ROBERT LUND'S RECORDING - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Stan Hall - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
555 ... nothin's rotten dem marks, bro' :-) - February 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Stan: Thanks, you pun k. Heh heh.
Tim Mayfield - July 19, 2008 - Report this comment
This just goes to show that if you give a man enough rope he can hang convention. Brutally awesome!! Notwithstanding the mental anguish and gargantuan effort this must have taken to write, you were able to persist against Robert long enough to get him to record an awesome and appropriately effective recording. - July 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, Tim. Just goes to show what you can accomplish with enough persistence. And begging and whining and crying and threatening and torturing.
white trash - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
this is my favorite parody of this song but still my favorite story from william will always be romeo and juliet but still you make all your songs creative and thats why your very successful - June 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanx, white trash. My favorite is Lord of the Flies.

Oh, wait. Different William.
jay - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
i love english class except when i get words like verisimilitude - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Yep. That's far too hexasyllabical.
sharon - February 14, 2010 - Report this comment
i love shakespeare and i love this song. one of the worst writers i think was mary shelley but i always loved the shakespeare module - February 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Come on, Sharon. You gotta love Frankenstein.

The book. The movie. The song. The town in Missouri.
jerry - April 21, 2010 - Report this comment
speaking of english literature, have you heard of the controversy about stephen king bashing twilight's stephanie meyer saying that she cannot write, what is your opinion on that? - April 24, 2010 - Report this comment
True story: My friend went to a Stephenie Meyer book signing and asked her to inscribe his book with "You are the most Edwardesque man I've met." She refused.
jerry - April 25, 2010 - Report this comment
ha ha i do not get it i heard of poesque
timothy - April 25, 2010 - Report this comment
hell, spaff is a better writer than stephanie meyer and you do not see him getting all that attention.
white trash - April 30, 2010 - Report this comment
a wise man once said that the road to hell is paved with adverbs. just like twilight or maybe its called adverb festival i forget. - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
jerry: Glad you laughed anyway.

timothy: Or all that money.

white trash: Tom Swiftie: "I have two buttholes," Tom said extraneously.
white trash - May 15, 2010 - Report this comment
thats a great joke do you mind if i put it in my song about adverbs
White trash - May 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh yeah i forgot what another wise man said he said "that tragedy is tragedy and in the end all tragedies are dumb i would choose mid night summer dream over hamlet anyday anyone can build a house full of cards and blow it down but it takes a true genuis to make people laugh!" - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
white trash: (1) go for it, and (2) I'll bet that wise man was a comedian.
Jon - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
He lives in Denmark?, he might cross paths with Beowulf and Grendel. - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Or Brigitte Nielsen.
Ben - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
I discovered this sometime last year. Schools should be required to use this as a study guide when their English classes read Hamlet. This still makes me laugh. Lol, back then I used to get this stuck in my head but I kept forgetting the choruses, so now I have a text document on my desktop with each chorus in it so if I forget one I can just look it up. An absolute masterpiece! RECORD AND PUT ON YOUTUBE & ITUNES!!! - December 22, 2011 - Report this comment
Belated thanks, Ben. How 'bout if Robert Lund records it and I put it on the FuMP?
O. Feelya. - January 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Genius. Epic.
O. Feelya. - January 10, 2012 - Report this comment
By the way, wouldn't mind reading a parody of "Cecelia" titled "Ophelia" if you're ever inspired.
Glen S - April 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Visited again on whim. Still awesome, Mr. Spafford. You still da man.
Peter James F - June 20, 2015 - Report this comment
I rated you on three sets of criterion: matching the original which includes the ability for the audience to pick it up and sing along with it spontaneously, technical excellence and humor and finally overall brilliance. In the last two categories as others have mentioned you were outstanding. Your technical coverage of the plot was so detailed however that you sacrificed a key element of the original, the repeating chorus. Because your chorus changes each verse to match every beat of the play which is a brilliant technical device for teaching the play, to fully participate the audience must learn each verse or the singer must have cue cards for each verse. Also, the meter is not perfect and easy to follow in every chorus. So I wound up giving you 13 points overall rather than a perfect 15. If I could have I would have given you an extra half point. But there were enough meter problems that could have been cleaned up with obvious to me edits that I had to take off at least a half point for that and on this system that meant a full point, sorry. That does not take away from the brilliance of your effort. It is really a quite extraordinary effort and you should put it up on YouTube ASAP! Perhaps the problems I perceive with the meter are just my own, but I am used to singing in difficult meters and I don't think that was it. I even tried singing in several dialects and that did not help either. :-) Great job though and wonderful punmanship!
Stray Cat - June 22, 2015 - Report this comment
PJF is a knucklehead. Ignore him

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