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Song Parodies -> "American Lie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don Mclean

Parody Song Title:

"American Lie"

Parody Written by:

Mark Hoolihan

The Lyrics

I wrote this after I saw the Justice Department explaining why it was OK for them ignore the consitutional rights of US citizens when they felt like it. Well I felt like writing this. Why... ...because I can.
A long long time ago
I can still remember how government used to make me smile
And I knew if bad times came to pass
They'd stand up for us to the last
And maybe we'd be safe then for awhile
But John Ashcroft made me shiver
With every judgement he delivered
Bad news with a goosestep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read some freedoms had to die
But something touched me deep inside
The day our freedoms died

So bye-bye, Constitutional Rights
Those amendments must be ended
Said the government guy
And the Founding Fathers watched with tears in their eyes
Singing this'll be the day our dream dies
This'll be the day our dream dies

Did you read The Federalist
Did you think it could ever be like this
If John Ashcroft tells you so
Do you believe in liberty
Is it just good for you and me
And not for those they call enemy
Well I know that they are all muslims
But aren't they still US citizens
If they can lose their rights
Who is next in Ashcrofts sights?
I was a loyal proud American
And a patriotic good citizen
But I didn't know where to stand
The day our Freedom died

I started singin'

Now two centuries we're on our own
With freedoms we thought were carved in stone
But that's not how it seems to be
When colonists said don't you tread on me
And dumped out all of King George's tea
With a voice that came from you and me
Oh and well the King was frustrated
A new system was created
No punishments we learned
Til verdicts are returned
And while Ashcroft spoke about freedom
Some people languished in dungeons
And we hoped we were the safe ones
The day our Freedom died

We were singing

Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
Cheney flew off for a secret shelter
Gas price high and rising fast
Abu Ghraib had come to pass
Don Rumsfeld said it was in the past
But John Ashcroft brought such things home at last
Now caught terrorists are good to see
But must the price be our liberty
We all want victory
But we also want to be free
Cause John Ashcroft he tried to go too far
Trampling on rights we knew were ours
Do you recall the stripes and stars
The day our freedom died

We started singing

Oh and there we were all huddled there
A generation of terror
With no chance left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
John Ashcrofts crackdown must never stick
Cause silence is the tyrant's only friend
Oh and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
Those rights for everyone
In the Constitution
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial light
I saw King George laughing with delight
The day our freedom died

He was singing

I saw a muslim in brown shoes
I asked him for some happy news
But he went silent and turned away
I went down to the big book store
Where I'd read of freedom years before
But the man there said they took the books away
And in prison the suspects screamed
The muslims cried and the liberals dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The rights for that were broken
And the three things that kept us free
Our justice, laws and liberty
They were now called the enemy
The day our freedom died

And they were singing
Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the HoolinetCopyright 2004 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ravyn Rant - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you. There's not much more to say, as you've said it all. The song isn't funny (neither is John Ashcroft!) but I gave you all 5s anyway.
martha - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
well said
MrMacphisto - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow.... this is one of the best political songs I've read on this site....
John Barry - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I concur with MrMac. Excellent job on a theocratic fascist.
Michael Pacholek - June 03, 2004 - Report this comment
"Bad news with a goosestep"... A great line that I would not have thought of. Good work.
Rod Worden - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Whew!! My sentiments exactly, Mark. You did a wonderful job here calling attention to the true price we are all paying for this so-called 'war on terrorism'. 5-5-5!
Impressed - October 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Usually a fun satirical site but that genuinely moves me!

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