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Song Parodies -> "Mr. Miracle Guy (The life, death, and afterlife of Jesus Christ)"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. Miracle Guy (The life, death, and afterlife of Jesus Christ)"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

Just read... i'll try to answer any questions in the comments section... just one thing for now - emperor is two syllables every time it is used in this
A long, long, time ago
Most say in December
But I doubt it since it wasn't cold
Well two Jews out in Bethlehem
Just had a baby born to them
A stable's where it happened, so we're told
I never understood the story
How those three kings brought presents for me
Who knew what's their purpose
When all their gifts were worthless
Oh well whatever if they're wise
They would know their reasons more than I
I wish they told my mother why
They said these words that night: "oh

Hey, hey, it's a miracle babe
So his birth has just one purpose for the earth to be saved
I hope this boy will
One day show me the way"
Seems like that whole story may have been fake
That whole story may have been fake

Would you try to right some wrongs
Or just play it safe and play along
Cause to fight is hard for sure
Now the Jews had needed some reform
The Pharisees had earned my scorn
For clinging to the
Law and not the Lord

Well I tried to get a following
But that's not a very easy thing
I fed five thousand once
But few were impressed by that stunt

I cured some homeless blind men, some complained
Since I did my saving on the Sabbath day
Some people are just hard to sway
I wondered why I tried
And they were singing,

Fly, fly, Mr. miracle guy
If it's too tough then it's true what you have said is a lie
Though you make these claims until I see with my eye
Then I'll think you are a fake and not wise
Think you are a fake and not wise

Then for two years, well I taught and roamed
Got some to clap, others throwing stones
I said what I wanted to say
In the desert I did an awful lot
And almost succeeded in my plot
Until Judas gave me up for pay
Then questioning about the crime
Of claiming kingship of some kind
I caved in and confessed
That person made me stressed
Some Jews were told by the high chief
They could spare me or spare a thief
I watched the scene in disbelief
Then I was crucified
And some were thinkin'

Die, die, Mr. Miracle guy
You're disturbing and unnerving and unable to fly
When you're teaching boys then you're corrupting their minds"
But a race is not to blame for their crime
Race is not to blame for their crime

Preaching, teaching, was really far reaching
Men all through Europe heard Paul beseeching
"Cast off your idols, worship Christ"
But in Rome each adult
Knew you must be in the Emperor's cult
And the didn't treat the Christians very nice

But then the Emperor named Constantine
Said that he had a special dream
That he'd have victory
Oh, if he chose to worship me

So the Romans got some shocking news
Their Caesar's faith had come from Jews
And they were urged to change their views
The day Olympus died
And they were thinkin'

:Why, why, this old miracle guy?
He's a pest who got arrested, executed and died"
And then Constantine gave them a simple reply:
"Subjects, I'm your Emperor and that is why
I'm you emperor and that is why"

So there were a lot who prayed to me
But very few truly believed
A growing Church was getting rich
And then Dad was napping, Dad got sick
The Clergy went into politics
And business with me as their main sales pitch

And since the Pope called for Crusades
Much death was dealt out in my name
Just one could intervene
But he was having dreams

And when some hateful guy invokes my name
I wish I'd never achieved fame
But he would be evil either way
It's not my fault he lies
It gets me thinking

Why, why, must these terrible guys
Make believe I support deeds while they are not justified
Yeah I get annoyed when so-called worshippers lie
Oh well what can I do from way up high?
What can I do from way up high?

I heard a man just made a film
About the time when I was killed
Some love it while others protest
To me its content is unknown
But no matter what it should be shown
Freedom of speech would have saved me from that mess

My father's been asleep for years
I wonder what he'll think when he hears
About the greed and hatred
In the name of the sacred
He might have hot and holy blood
And cool things off with a month long flood
I won't tell him, I'll be your bud
If most of you will try

Just try, try, not to make people cry
No more warring, I'm imploring, life is short enough, why
Must someone destroy somebody else's life
Will you listen to the miracle guy
Listen to the miracle guy

Try, try, not to make people cry
No more warring, I'm imploring, life is short enough, why
Must someone destroy somebody else's life
Will you listen to the miracle guy
Listen to the miracle guy

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Ethan, let me be the first to congratulate you on an absolutely fantastic parody! I hope this goes straight to #1!
Ethan Mawyer - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks merry but it loks like no one wants to read an 800 word song today. I guess i'll have to wait for the song of the month competition for this to get read
John Jenkins - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Ethan. Some of the rhyming and pacing might be imprecise, but the content and degree of difficultey earn this parody 5s. I thought the "preaching, teaching, far reaching, beseeching" lines were very good.

What I did not understand were calling the gifts of the kings/wise men worthless and "my father's been asleep for years."
Ethan Mawyer - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
John -The worthless presents part i head somewhere else... i think it was in George Carlin's sketch about an interview with Jesus. Your other question is somewhat more complicated and more suited to explaining when it is not about one in the morning (which is about the time i wrote that line after starting around 10 pm)
Peregrin - March 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ethan. I am not particularly given to religion one way or the other, but that is irrelevant. I think you have a wonderful job. Reading this (which was hard work in itself, so I can just imagine how writing must have been) made me happy and sad at the same time. BTW, I had a good laugh at the worthless gifts bit, though I would have been tempted to keep the gold.
Melhi - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, Ethan. "He's a pest who got arrested" was my fave line.
Guy - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Ethan - Well done. I missed this one somehow when it posted. So glad you selected this for competition in the SOTM for March. I'm with John though on the asleep part. I was going to ask about that part myself but John beat me to it. Everything else looks fairly accurate and you either did your homework or know your scripture well enough to pull this off. I am impressed with this. I look forward to considering this marvel in the competition. Well done indeed.
Adagio - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Good luck in the competition. You chose a good one.
2nz - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
What can I do besides complement you on a very long and hard original song ;cD Very nice job. The triplet line rhyme match-ups were my favorite. There were some places where your rhyme scheme was a little questionable, but I know the difficulty of this song, so you've earned your 5 from me there. You also closed very well, and you, like Mr. Gibson, are a brave man for dealing with this subject in such an open way. Good luck in the competition, man. - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Ethan, you clearly put a ton of work into this. Since this isn't entirely orthodox, I'm surprised you haven't been hit with some low votes. "Pest who got arrested" was my favorite bit too. Good work. - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
P.S. I'm not suggesting that this SHOULD get low votes. Quite the opposite. But you know how people are.
Robert J. Pagliaro - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
555's from the agnostic. Glad that Guy pointed out the biblical accuracy - (I wouldn't know - and his word is gospel in this area to me) because I'm always impressed when it is apparent that the writer's message is the result of knowledgable thoughts - whether I agree with the ideology or not. Regarding the critique of rhyme, pacing, etc. above - and all from great and respected parody artists - I believe that when you attack (attempt) a write like this and produce a result like this, slight variations from the original should be overlooked (as I'm sure those who commented did overlook). Finally, I applaud and respect you for "foot noting" the stanza where you used someone else's idea. bob
neminem - April 11, 2004 - Report this comment
That. Was. Incredible. Arguably better than The Saga Begins, and I'm an agnostic Star Wars fan :-D. I am likewise curious where specifically you got the "My fatherís been asleep for years" line from, though unlike the others I fully understand and appreciate the humor you were going for with that line (or at least I think I do). Hehe... you might want to check out Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series... Anyway, despite being sad that you didn't put in any mention of Brian, and despite being freaking long (eventually I got bored and upped the tempo on the original) you very much deserve at *least* a 5/5/5. Some of the most brilliant rhyming I've ever seen on this site.
Claude Prez - April 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Voted on this earlier and though I was pretty blown away by it I didn't comment. Fantastic stuff.
Paul Robinson - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Ethan - guess I shied away from this earlier because of the length. 5's - Great job.
MARCH 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH - May 23, 2004 - Report this comment
MARCH 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1326;image - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Having now gone through the hell of parodying "American Pie," I can better appreciate the amount of work you put into this. Great job, E-Thang.
John Jenkins - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Challenging topic and challenging OS, but well done, Ethan.
Johnny D - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Well done, Ethan.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Still a very good job on this endurance trial, Ethan.
bobpiecheese - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice work, Ethan. Hmm. Apparantely, working through this parody is hell. So how come I now wanna parody it? I must be brave...either that or mad. My money's on mad.

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