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Song Parodies -> "Kitten Pine"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Kitten Pine"

Parody Written by:

The Parody Author

The Lyrics

(Parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
That kitten used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those whiskers dance
And maybe, we'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about its fluffy hide
But something touched me deep inside
The day the kitten died

So bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

Did you write the book of love?
And do you have faith in paws above?
If the Bible tells you so?
Now do you believe in kitty love?
Can all nine lives be saved from above?
And can you teach me how to purr real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with cats
'Cause I saw you wear a kitty hat
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those feline blues

I was a lonely teenage kitten lover
With a pink carnation and a pickup cover
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the kitten died

I started singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rolling stone
But that's not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me

Oh, and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned

And while Lennon read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the kitten died

We were singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the kitten on the sidelines in a cast

Now the halftime air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never got the chance

'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the kitten died?

We started singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
'Cause fire is the devil's only friend

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that kitten's spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the kitten died

He was singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play

And in the streets, the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken

And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the kitten died

And they were singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

They were singin'

Bye, bye, little kitten pine
Drove my Chevy to the shelter but the kittens were all fine
And good ol' boys were saying, "Please adopt one that's divine"
Singing, "This'll be the day that I find my feline"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   26
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