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Song Parodies -> "Orcas Don't Fly"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Orcas Don't Fly"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Our yacht, "Carissa" (Swan 441) got attacked by a pod of orcas on Sunday 3rd October 2021 near Cabo Finisterra, Spain. It was an experience I really do not want to re-live, and I wrote this song as a self-therapy.
Not so long ago, I can still remember
how sailing used to make me smile
Baltic, Greece and Atlantic
were the waters of this chick
and at the Adriatic I would prevail
But this October made me shiver
as our crew got a bad deliver
attack at Spanish waters
led almost to manslaughter
I can remember I almost cried
as butts of our crew nearly fried
Something got snuffed deep inside
the day my ardour died

So bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

Did you dress in sailing clothes -
and do you have faith in compass rose
If the charts do tell you so?
Now, can you read the clouds in sky
Do you know how to bowline tie
And can you tell me how the spar buoys go?
Well, we took the sea at Coruna, Spain
We were six girls on the boat again
We hoisted up the sails
and we were sure that fun prevails
I was Carissa's second mate
we left the port, we were one day late
But I had no clue we'd meet our fate
The day we almost died

I started singing: bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

We sailed the ocean all our own,
our destination was Porto town
but that's not how it was to be
When the night did fall and stars would lit
our crew was strong and our boat was fit
the girl at wheel at sunset, it was me
And when our skipper came to helm
I went to bunk, and overwhelm
began the sweetest sleep -
but we were in troubles deep!
'Cause one our before the midnight fell
the orcas came, dealt a deadly knell
Our steering died and our skipper yell
"All hands on deck! Or we die!"

So bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The orcas came, we had no shelter
Eight in strength and ramming fast
They rammed and bit and our rudder broke
we feared they'd deal a fatal stroke
as we didn't know if our hull would last
I was awake and told to go
do duty at the radio
I called out the PAN PAN
- we're in need of a helping hand!
"We'll scramble now the SAR"
said coastal station not quite far
But I thought whale food now we are
the night we almost died

So bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

Oh, and there they were all in one place
A pod of orcas full in chase
With no time left for us to rest
They came on, orcas rammed and orcas bit
we felt them crash and we felt them fit
as they tried to outdo us with all their best
Oh as I spoke my words in radio
the seeping water began to flow
I checked our stuffing box
- it was as if hit the rocks!
I called the MAYDAY, it's now for real
those whales smell blood, they want to kill
They thought we were a shark or seal
the night we almost died

So bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

The SAR did soon arrive
but the orcas were on killing drive
they attacked us while we were on the tow
They towed us safe to Finisterre
a harbour safe, no need to fear
where we could stay and replenish what was low
But we were tired and needed sleep
we knew we had been in troubles deep
And not a word was spoken
our rudder, it was broken
But we were safe and we were sound
as we had stepped on solid ground
Our boat was safe, didn't turn around
the night we almost died

So bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)

They were singin', bye, bye I will stick to skydive
It is saner and no-brainer as the orcas don't fly
The VHF sent my words into sky -
I feared this will be the day when I die
(This will be the day when I die)
I really do not want to make another PAN PAN or MAYDAY call ever in my life. Ever.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.1
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 2.1

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   13
 13
 13
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

CML - October 11, 2021 - Report this comment
Looks like 13 people were rooting for the orcas, Susanna
Susanna Viljanen - October 12, 2021 - Report this comment
It's the Mister Number Ones Man again - who also roots for Kim Jong Un, Warren Harding and Taliban, and dislikes ducks. Or perhaps he's fallen in love with me, and wants to get my attention? Sorry, I'm married already - and I respect orcas more. They are incredibly intelligent (which cannot be said of Mister Number Ones Man).
CML - October 12, 2021 - Report this comment
You would think there would be more of a feedback. This is a great parody and an amazing story. You were sailing in the Atlantic off Northern Spain and your boat was attacked by a pod of killer whales who seemed to have hatched a plan to ram your boat until they sunk it and then prey on you? Thats really amazing!!
Susanna Viljanen - October 14, 2021 - Report this comment
Let's be curt and say we made into news both in Finland and in Spain. For me, it was a two hours of absolute horror which I really do not want to re-live, but my respect on orcas rose like a rocket. Before that incident they were jusyt another kind of toothed whales. Now they are for me the absolute apex species of oceans. Move over, Great White - 'Jaws' was just a movie!
Frank Share - November 09, 2021 - Report this comment
Great job. It sings itself. Being a sailor this scares the hell out of me. Of course I know more of the story from Quora. I will stay sailing as I just cant jump out of a plane. I had no idea such a site existed.

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