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Song Parodies -> "(Un)american Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"(Un)american Guy"

Parody Written by:

John Dacey

The Lyrics

It seems so long ago
I hardly remember now
Carefree days that could let me smile
But that was all before Covid
And what trump knew and what trump did
To make life living Hell for a long while.

In February there was no plan
Put the Handbook in the trash can
Transmits death through the air
He knew still did not care.

I still remember how he said
That just a few will wind up dead
But troub'ling times would lie ahead
As Corona would spread.

My, my, how the president lied
It was lethal, he was gleeful - the Stock Market has thrived
While people wept for ev'ry new widowed bride
He thought 'this'll be the the source of my pride.'
'This'll be the source of my pride.'

Did your stocks go in the tank
And do you have cash enough that's banked,
A liquid portfolio?
Now the bars and restaurants are closed
The cooks and waiters all got hosed
And economic forecasts are real slow.

Well, I don't know how you still like trump
Now that the country is in the dump.
You still can't get a test
'Til your heart’s in full arrest.

Since just a lowly teen he sought a buck
But his education records really suck
All New York knew he was just a schmuck
And all he touches, dies.

Bye-bye to essential supplies
If you live your respirator may arrive next July
And first responders can't get N-95s
Trump's C.D.C. had let the stockpile go dry
Caring not if it might cause you to die
This might be the reason you die.

Now this whole year we’ve been on our own
‘Cause Old Fatass has a heart of stone
But that’s not how it’s ‘sposed to be
When the numbskull ignored Doc Fauci
And fucked around with the CDC
He wrecked both health and economy
Oh pretending things weren’t looking grim
His minions sang a cheerful hymn
Real action was delayed
Claimed he’d just 'downplayed'
He gibbered on about campaign spies
And his inauguration size
The only things trump masked were lies
And so, the people died.

My my how his brain's ossified
Tariff levies make each Chevy more expensive to buy
A fiscal plan that is completely cockeyed
It's as stupid as his callous joyride
Stupid as his callous joyride

Higgly piggly ignoramus bigly
He’s as stupid as an eel is wriggly
Polls are bad and falling fast
It isn’t just that he’s crass
But that he's still talking out his ass
About souls we've known who've prematurely passed.
We expect that he will be gone soon
Strike up the band, loose the balloons
We’ll all get up and dance
Nobody wants to miss the chance
To celebrate when he departs
Will brighten moods and lift up hearts
Delight will go right off the charts
No more trumps to abide.

So we were singin’
Bye-bye to a terrible guy
Our selection this election means your exit is nigh
When you depart we'll drink Moët Extra Dry
Thinking this’ll end that moral pigsty
This ends your amoral pigsty.

I’m glad to know he can’t relax
New York’s asked him for its unpaid tax
And more crimes done along the way.
Exceeding what’s gone in the past
Two hundred thou have breathed their last
The crime for which he’ll likely never pay.
While keeping hid the fix we're in
He flogged hydroxychloroquine
He let us all get haircuts
So no one spooked The Markets.
I still remember I first cried
When one I knew of Covid died
A danger that sumbitch denied.
Because the bastard lied.

Why, why did those Americans die?
All that suff'ring - 'It's just nothing' was the president's lie.
'Just treat it with some UV, Chlorox and lye.'
Hoping this'll mean you die before I
This'll mean you die before I.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 40

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   24
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Vincent - October 15, 2020 - Report this comment
A tour de force about a turd de farce.
CML - October 15, 2020 - Report this comment
Meets my approval for a legit post ;-D .... I knew you had ability; you just needed to know what the standards were
Patrick - October 15, 2020 - Report this comment
"Lowly teen sought a buck", nice switch on the original. And you figured out how to rhyme "hydroxychloroquine". Since you seem to be on the left side of the spectrum, you might not know that Trump's supporters tend to find him an embarassment. They just don't see that the Democrats have offered a viable (in at least two senses of the word) alternative. Congratulations on starting at the top (American Pie). I would not be surprised to see you produce a year end summary of 2020 to "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Because there are bound to be a few more "wrecks" before this year comes to a bitter end.
111s - October 15, 2020 - Report this comment
So, a steaming load of crap writes a steaming load of crap... which gets a steaming load of crap dumped on it. Ah, poetic justice!
Patrick - October 16, 2020 - Report this comment
Foul language and an anonymous volley of 111's. Not the sort of comment I would take seriously. Where is the crap? The writing or the subject? Cite examples.
111s - October 18, 2020 - Report this comment
Examples? How about how EVERY LINE of this steaming load of crap is a far-left Commie traitor lie, the steaming load of crap who wrote it is an unfunny far-left Commie traitor liar, and you're a lying hypocritical steaming load of crap too for trying to defend this steaming load of crap and the steaming load of crap who wrote it by dumping two steaming loads of crap of your own on this comments section, Patrick. If only the steaming loads of crap running this site had the sense to flush you steaming loads of crap and the steaming loads of crap you regularly dump on this site down the toilet where you all belong, maybe this site wouldn't be in the toilet itself.
SPANK THAT DONNIE DOUCHEBAG! - October 18, 2020 - Report this comment
What can be said other than this an EXCELLENT well thought out tour de force rewrite of a tired old song? And Traitortrump is as Unamerican as it gets. ANY previous President - Republican or Democrat would've addressed the nation on TV about this from the Oval Office. He would've informed us of the situation with no BS, and he would've told us that as American people we need to use our heads and we'll get thru this together. Instead he just dishing out lippy crap and he has WAGED OPEN WAR on America itself! This is NOT a partisan issue, if it ever was. Douchebag Traitor is an evil irresponsible fascist Caligula SMF who cares ONLY for his worthless self. And you are right on the money here. 555
John Dacey - October 19, 2020 - Report this comment
Sincere thanks to all who've taken time to comment, even the guy who seems to measure everything in life in scatological units. Seems an odd preoccupation to me, but I'm not as hip as when I was young. Patrick: thanks for giving hydroxychloroquine a special mention but I'm not flattered that you forgot I did an Eddie Fitz last month. It's unlikely I'd revisit it by year's end (if ever). Besides, my 'scores' have plunged progressively with each submission - it's not encouraging unless I though I had a shot at the record for getting the most bulls*** '1' votes. Thanks again -
Zen Adam B. - October 20, 2020 - Report this comment
23 ones from the Russian troll factory proves this is a great one!

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