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Song Parodies -> "How Democracy Dies"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"How Democracy Dies"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Our democracy is fine. The current White House 'reality show' is simply a timely wake-up call.
The E (Elekshun)

just a short time ago
our term limits keep it so
‘twas time to vote again you see
two choices that were not so dear
both not so great the common fear
choose more ‘swamp’ or some ‘chaos theory’

the outcome was hard to believe
the pundits had it wrong you see
as right-wing hearts now throb
and pollsters all need new jobs

no matter how hard some folks tried
there was no place to run or hide
the final count we must abide
the day most of us cried


oh-kay our democracy’s fine
we just voted in a crazy likes to think he’s enshrined
who never drinks alcohol or takes Christian wine
for savin’ his brand he may yet resign
ex gal pals are now the headline

The W?H (White? House)

did you hear the latest news
and can you believe that it is true
if the White House tells you so?
can you believe the ‘reality show’?
does lying help the Oval flow?
should you push back the lies or let them go?

with a sound of gerrymander-ring
the peoples vote didn’t win this thing
his crowds aren’t super size
it’s all half-truths and outright lies

executive actions roll out White House doors
he picks his judges so to settle old scores
he says he’s fit to fight two wars
as democracy cries

I start singin’

here’s why our democracy cries
‘cause the leader in the White House spouts nothing but lies
and his crude behavior we have to rationalize
republicans in congress sittin’ idly by
this is how democracy dies

The PC (Putin Connection)

now a Russian enigma fouls our air
our election hacked from who knows where
all those twit bots let out their cage

thru our election were on a rampage
the twitter-verse is now a main stage
DOOD* is now a wide world cell phone sage

with kin and staff all business sharks
their laundered cash from oligarchs
in some banks overseas
tax-sheltered if you please

in a cyber war fought with dot.coms
aught-one code not exploding bombs
DOOD* greets Putin with open palms
it’s how democracy dies

we were singin’

this could make democracy die
all our data laid out open all open to the sky
as them CA code writers well paid and hawk eye
send to each voter a special bot lie
this’d be the night that we cry


cabinet postings are musical chairs
the really best people stayed away in pairs
subject to a presidential whim

only the ‘best’ folks invited in
in this White House you sink or swim
is there anyone smart that can work with him?

some even made it their play at love
that White House game of push-and-shove
clean up the White House floor
best folks swept out a revolving door

now after a bit more than a year
a White House of chaos and fear
staff now leave with nary a tear
shrug off their NDAs

and start singin’

oh indeed we did survive
we were loyal to our leader but our leader was jive
and when the news media hit overdrive
we wanted out while we’re still alive
this won’t be the place where we fry

The DOOD* (Designated Oval Office Denizen)

oh, his bond with truth’s been a bit lax
he prefers his “alternative facts”
truth’s run down his Mar-a-sinkhole

with a partisan redo of our income tax
we still can’t send our returns by fax
unless they give us the right loophole

and when DOOD* jumped up on the stage
jaws all dropped at the claims he made
leaks, lies and dirty tricks
make up his politics

with a lifetime full of ‘never admits’
pushing shoving till reason quits
fouling the office wherein he sits
with nasty words he spits

he is singin’

I could make democracy die
see my buddies are the congress and my congress is fly
they could care less about my little white lies
gettin’ here at all was such a surprise
this’ll be the gig of my life

The DO (Do-Over)

we’d pray that our pol-i-ti-cians
could learn to govern bi-par-ti-san
they have time ‘til next voting day

be no more the party of NO
when in charge you need to learn and grow
get the DOOD* off his autocrat highway

in their schools our children crying
shot by guns their friends lay dying
maybe our most important play
stop the terror known as NRA

full of folks our streets come alive
in large crowds now as they realize
from the not-right DOOD* did arrive
they’ve tired of that gadfly

and they are singing

we won’t let democracy die
yes it’s messy in the muddle but the middle is fine
democracy takes work and it can make you sigh
but it sure beats any despot enterprise
relax and take some compromise

they kept singing

please don’t let democracy die
get your ballot to the post box to the post box on time
vote out the autocrats and kiss them good-bye
keep voting ‘til the day afore you die

and keep your voting rights alive
Question: How much of the so-called 'administrative state', that this White House is in the process of demolishing (its only real accomplishment in its first 14 months in office), is actually necessary to run a forward looking democracy?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.9
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   26
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   6

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Wow. I'm throwing aside the politics for a moment to say that your construction of this parody is TOP notch--Weird Al couldn't write variable choruses for his The Saga Begins. I won't quibble the pacing either, the artistic and linguistic choices made total sense. I get the sense you are a veteran AIRer under a nom de plume. If not--you are a prodigy.
Donald Trump - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
I'm smarter farting than you are talking.
Patrick - March 29, 2018 - Report this comment
If you're a Democrat, you can keep voting even after you die. What better OS to choose for retelling the story of 2016 and its consequences. A made a stab at "American Pie" a couple of times, only to be shot down by the then resident guardian of pacing. I admire anyone with the nerve to take on the challenge. I don't use the number ratings, but you have produced a well-made and thought-provoking parody. Security code for this comment: VD6.
Answer: - January 03, 2019 - Report this comment

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