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Song Parodies -> "Tolkienian Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Tolkienian Pie"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Long, long time ago
Ainur played with Eru
and their Music did create the world.
Valar, Maiar, Istari -
they made the world and history
and children of the Eru were first heard
But Melkor tried to pipe his own tune
and cacophony would follow so soon
makings of rebellion
they very early set on
The Ainur then descended down
to Arda, that name world was known
the mighty angels came around
the day the world set on.

So bye, bye, Ainulindalë pie
you're the story of the glory of the Music in sky
Eru all alone could Eternal Flame hold
he created Arda, so abide by!

Did you lit the light of stars?
did you create the Saturn, Mars?
do you know where the Elves did wake?
Mother Varda, Elbereth
she had the birth of Firstborn set
and called the Eldar at Cuivienen lake
The Valar did the Elves invite
to live together at their site
at the town of Valinor
at the blessed land Aman shore
And world was lit by Blessed Two Trees
and Dwarves awoke beyond the seas
while Elves at Aman lived in ease
till Melkor made trees die.

So bye, bye, Silmarillion pie
you're the fable of the baubles made by Fëanor guy
Now the Melkor, shame, got the Morgoth as name
and he caused the king of Noldor to die

Now Morgoth - cursed be all his works!
he did create the Balrogs, orcs
he robbed the magic Silmarils
And Noldor, they declared the war
and Fëanor with his sons they swore
an oath that would cause their downfall, perils
Fëanor fought but he got killed
while Fingolfin with just sheer will
did lead his troops through ice
and orcs at north they excised
Now Elves were back at Middle-Earth
they founded kingdoms south and north
and Varda Moon and Sun gave birth
the day the Trees did die

So bye, bye, the First Age-ian pie
You're narration of the nation of the Elves low and high
And the story goes with a lot of tears, woes
did the Noldor and the Sindar they cry

Now Morgoth and the Elves had war
when Men woke up at distant shore
they fought their way through Orcs to West
And Men and Elves together fought
they struggled, died, but no one thought
that futile would prove all that quest
Now Fingolfin and Fingon fell
while Túrin's fate was not that swell
Turgon, he too died
with Elves and Men on his side
When all the hope was doomed to lost
Eärendil sailed to Aman's coast
and Morgoth fell on Valar host
the day made Morgoth cry

So bye, bye, Silmarillion pie
Lots of Noldor were made colder and a lot of Men died
it was all in vain, as never again
were the Silmarils at Middle-Earth spied

Now Elves returned to their homeland
while Men who did at their side stand
got Númenor as their domain
Elros became their first King
while Elrond with the Elves did sing
three thousand years did last the Mannish reign
But Elves, they wanted to stop the time
and then committed a nasty crime
they made the Rings of Power
and they gave Sauron his hour
'Cause Sauron corrupted the Mannish kings
as he gave them the Nine foul rings
and fall of Númenor did bring
Dark Lord, Sauron - bad guy!

So bye, bye of Akallabeth pie
you're history of mystery of the world parted by
Eru saved the world and it spherical curled
only Elves could now the Straight Way pass by

Nine ships were saved from that downfall
the Men at Gondor land did call
and crushed the Orcish hosts and all
Sauron fell on Isildur
his hand was chopped, his fate was full
but Ring was lost at Anduin, recall
While Men and Dwarves the Orcs did fight
the Istari Havens arrived
to aid the peoples free
as Sauron was on killing spree
The Ring was found, but no one thought
that Free Folks its destruction sought
and Hobbits to Mount Doom it brought
the day Dark Lord died

So bye, bye, Lord of Rings-ian pie
you're the epic of the creepy Gollum who did go by
The Ring was undone and the Dark Lord is gone
and the King was crowned at Gondor so high

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

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