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Song Parodies -> "My Fear Of The Sky"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"My Fear Of The Sky"

Parody Written by:

Leo Keough

The Lyrics

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the news confused me as a child
Though I knew to fly had romance
Still I would take a stubborn stance
To never seek adventure quite so wild

One day the morning news was bitter
A tragic takeoff turned to litter
Bad news of the scorched wreck
A cruel fate, one short trek

I still remember spouting spite
At my friends who'd tout the thrill of flight
Disaster proved that I was right
The day I viewed that sight

Why fly when there's fear in the sky
Drove my bucket to Pawtucket
With my luck running high
And them good old roads were never risky nor wry
Singin', this'll be the way that I fly
This'll be the way I survive

Did you sight the clouds above
And did you behold that flock of doves
As they're flying way too low
Ah, did you perceive the shockin' load
Included in the cargo hold
And did they teach 'em how to land real slow

Well, I knew the odds were low to slim
When I heard of captains sippin' gin
You don't take off with crews
When they're swiggin' jiggers of booze

I was a lowbrow dreamer full of pluck
With an inclination for some zipless luck
But I knew I'd be terrorstruck
The day I'd choose to fly

My heart was singin',
Why fly when there's fear in the sky
Drove my clunker of a junker
With the spunk of a spy
That good old toy was hummin' frisky and spry
(And) singin', listen to the way that I drive
This'll be the way to survive

Well, the best girl I had ever known
Moved 'cross the pond, far away from home
But she's the one I longed to see
Then a letter came from my beauty queen
And a dose of sorrow made me scream
At a choice that fate had handed me

Oh, and while my thinking took me down
The letter told me, lose the frown
Or courting as I yearned
So surely would be spurned

And while sheddin' dread to book this lark
My core was racked with fear so dark
With Xanax purchased, I'd embark
The day I chose to fly

I was singing,
Bye-bye to my fear of the sky
Stowed my sweater in some leather
And the weather was dry
Them friendly skies were lookin' crystal and high
A-singin', this'll be the day that I fly
Pray it's not the day that I die

Fender bender threatens my adventure
The curse words loft from the cabby's dentures
Eight mile jam and growing fast
The man is foul and so crass
Dismayed, I cry for the dork to pass
With the letter from my sweetheart in my grasp

Now the halfway point was reached by noon
My departure time was coming soon
I'd opted for romance
But now I'd never get the chance

As the plane was set to leave the field
The traffic jam refused to yield
I blew it all, was what I squealed
The day I missed my flight

I started crying,
Why, why did I bother to try
Though the hurry and the scurry
Left my worry to die
That airport noise would leave me thirsty and dry
Was singin', should've been the day that I'd fly
Think I need some whiskey and rye

Oh, and there I was fallen and spaced
Anticipation gone to waste
With no time left to book again
So come on: Jack and Jimbo do your tricks
Big game playin' on channel six
The fire of the defense at an end

Oh, and as I watched the Giants cave
A man broke in with news so grave
No raging force from hell
Could match those flames that swelled

And as they claimed that none on board survived
The toll confirmed as two-one-five
I sat vacant, gasping, still alive
The day I should've died

I was moaning,
Why, why did they all have to die
Drove me crazy to be gazing
At the blaze I defied
My troubled voice was feelin' itchy and dry
And groanin', but for the delay of my ride
This would be the day that I died

I called my girl and sprang the news
And she asked me what I planned to do
But I just sighed and couldn't say
I was down in a state forlorn
And for sure I knew my fears reborn
Would demand that I must choose another way

And in defeat I filled with steam
My lover tried to restoke our dreams
My shot at mirth was croakin'
The words felt all misspoken

Then a fleeting thought inspired hope
I thought, by gum, I've been such a dope
I'll quit my job and go by boat
That day I did decide

And I was singing,
Why fly when the price is too high
Booked a cruise ship for a smooth trip
To my beautiful bride
(And) then got employed a-slingin' brisket on rye
Singin', this'll be the way that I thrive
Whistlin', with my babe at my side

We were singing,
Bye-bye to my fear of the sky
There's a cookie in her nookie
And she's looking so fine
My good old boys are always frisky and spry
Singin', this'll be the way that we thrive

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Patrick - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
What a day! The two best writers on this site turn up with a set of masterpieces. This song reminds me of a night in 1962 when I heard on the evening news about a airliner crash in Canada that killed over 100 people. That night I had a bad dream about being in a plane that crashed. Some day I hope to have the inspiration to do an American Pie. Good to have you both back.
Fiddlegirl - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
"Flying high" upon clouds of poetic joy- first, after seeing your name among the submissions, and then after reading this terrific parody.

Plane-ly masterful in the OS pacing and syllable matching, with more than a little "wing" of truth in the story. There are little gems in every line-- too many to mention them all-- but "slingin' brisket on rye" made me laugh out loud. 555!!!!
Patrick - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
You manage to enumerate many of the reasons to fear boarding an airplane, including drunken pilots. I would be so intimidated by security measures these days that I get nervous driving to the airport to pick up or deliver friends.
Old Man Ribber - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Leo - In a word...epic! ;D
Tommy Turtle - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Statistically, despite drunken pilots and all, flight by scheduled airline is still about ten times as safe as making the same trip by car. .. OK, got the fact-checking out of the way.

Get the sole nit-pick out of the way:

I couldn't take one more step 7
A cruel fate, one short trek 6

But utterly trivial compared to the inspired. "With an inclination for some zipless luck" ... LOL and sooo clever! As was the syllable-matching throughout. Very few attempt this epic, and AFAIK, the only other one to syl-match it all the way through was

Always great to see someone knock this monster dead. 555 (in-?)frequent flier miles, from a licensed pilot.
Andy Primus - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Very well done & nice subbing throughout. I was OK on TT’s nit-pick part by singing it as “a cru-well fate”.
Mary Ann Webster - July 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Depending on which reference you consult, cruel can be pronounced with either one or two syllables. See I think you should have assumed the writer went with two syllables in this case, unless maybe you're trying to discourage the writer from posting here in the future.
Tommy Turtle - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy, quite right, old chap. DK Leo's nationality; I believe one syl is much more common in en-US, and perhaps two in en-BR, but it's a valid point. Nit retracted.

MAW: Immediately upon seeing Andy's comment (and before seeing yours) I went to the reference sources, and was ready to retract. I think you shouldn't automatically impute evil motives to something said in good faith -- wouldn't have said it if it didn't almost always sound like one syl in en-US -- unless you're trying to discourage this commenter from reading and commenting here. And why ignore the entirely-laudatory rest of the comment? (rhetorical question)
          All was fine until the final clause of your comment. I've apologized, and I accept your apology for that absolutely baseless remark - I'd love to see a lot more of the Leo Keoghs of the site, and maybe a lot less of some less conscientious writers. Cheers.

btw, this is a good argument for replying to readers' comments when able -- you have a chance to clear up things like that.
WCJ - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Leo: Great parody, I love American Pie parodies! 555! :-) - Fiddlegirl: How can you put spaces between your lines? I tried to do that by hitting return/enter on my keyboard and it still strung all my lines together in my comment. :-(
Fiddlegirl @ WCJ - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Easy as... well, pie! :)

Whenever you want to make a new paragraph or space between two lines, just type < B R > twice, but with no spaces between the characters. Then just continue typing. You don't need to hit "enter"; the code will do it automatically when your comment is posted. I'm sure there's a long and involved explanation why that happens. I prefer to think of it as "PC Magic". ;)
Dr. Oliver Clozoff - August 02, 2011 - Report this comment
American Pie parodies are the bestest, and this one did not disappoint. Some really great word subs and a good story to tell too.
WCJ - August 02, 2011 - Report this comment
I would have to say, without a doubt American Pie has to be the toughest song for any AmIrighter to parody, I've but only started to parody this song, but still haven't had the time to get around to finishing it. So you've got my 555 vote here! ;-)
Dave W. - August 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Another American Classic ....To write one this well is a day that I strive
Cool - August 06, 2011 - Report this comment

WCJ - August 06, 2011 - Report this comment


does! :-)

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