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Song Parodies -> "Firefly"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Dr. Oliver Clozoff

The Lyrics

This parody is my labor of love for the great sci-fi show "Firefly," prematurely canceled by Fox in 2002. If you are unfamiliar with the show, do yourself a favor and check it out on DVD or Netflix or whatever.
A not long time ago…
In ‘02, September
From the network that gave us “X-Files”…
Those Fox execs did take a chance
On a new show, that at first glance
Seemed like an odd mix of two different styles

A space western, Joss did deliver
But Fox soon sold him down the river
Bad news — time slot’s not strong
They sequenced episodes wrong

The viewers confused, ratings slide
And with Nielsen’s short foreshadowed ride
The show soon cancelled, fanboys cried
The day the sci-fi died.

So my, my, this here show “Firefly”
Didn’t know you back in ‘02,
And I can’t recall why
I lately bought the DVD’s at Best Buy
Thinkin’, one season’s too small a supply
One season’s too small a supply

Did you fight on browncoats’ side,
And are mad that vict’ry was denied,
At Serenity Valley?
Do you know of Persephone,
Where we picked up another three –
A Shepherd, doc, and psych-ward escapee?

Well, I like that Kaylee quite a lot
and I think Inara’s smokin’ hot
Seen her before somewhere
Looks like that “V” chick, but with hair

I was a-playin’ DVD’s non-stop
Of all sci-fi series, well, this one’s the top
But after season one they dropped –
The day the sci-fi died.

I started thinkin’
My, my, this here show “Firefly”
Would be groovie as a movie
Can’t they start a franchise?
“Serenity” — but where’s the sequel, you guys?
I’m thinkin’, we’re overdue for a reprise
long overdue for a reprise

Now for six years they’ve been on their own
And Serenity’s become their home
But life’s not always so shiny…
When they did a train job, to swipe cargo
For that old creep Niska, to score some dough
Now a choice — they’d stole Pescaline D

Well, those meds were for the local town
To put an epidemic down
So Niska, our crew spurned
The vaccine, they returned
And did I mention those Fox execs
With heads up asses, past their necks
Killed one of TV’s best prospects
The day the sci-fi died.

We’re all singing,
My, my, this here show “Firefly”
There’s no contest, it’s the bestest
It’s the king of sci-fi
Them gorram hacks at Fox should eat shit and die
Let’s swing ‘em from their necks, and hang ‘em up high
Swingin’ in the wind, strung up high

Plant a landin’, right down there on Canton
To bar, where the Mudder’s Milk’s decantin’
Eerie Jayne statue just passed
A bard sang of town’s hero
The man called Jayne, so the story goes
With the Mudders’ lament answered, four years past

Well, according to the Mudders’ tune
Jayne took off his plane from Higgin’s Moon
And as he waved goodbye –
Oh, he let that money hit sky!
His old partner gives a nasty spiel
A mudder acts as human shield
And the sad true tale was revealed
The day the sci-fi died

We started singing,
My, my, this here show “Firefly”
Oh, those jaded highly hated
Fox asshats let it die
I hope that Reavers cook them into a pie
And use their skulls to play games of jai alai
Use their skulls to play jai alai

Oh, and then I watched “Objects in Space”
The final episode I faced
And then re-played them all again
So we watch: on DVD, or Netflix
‘Cause Fox execs stepped on their dicks
When the best show on TV they did end

Oh, and as I watched them leave the stage
My face was streaked with tears of rage
No power in the ‘verse
Could break that evil curse
And as the names climbed high off top of screen
The credits after closing scene
I heard Rupert Murdoch laugh obscene
The day the sci-fi died

I was singing,
Bye-bye, to this show “Firefly”
It’s all over, and moreover
No new movies in sight
We’re stuck with comics and some fanfic to write
And hope someday “Firefly 2” they’ll green-light
Hope “Firefly 2” they’ll green-light

I met a girl whose coat was brown
And I asked her why she wore a frown
But she just cried and turned away,
I surfed the channels to explore
To what was called “Sci-Fi” years before,
But on “SyFy,” “Firefly” would never play.

And in defeat, the fans then screamed,
Of UPN pick-up, they dreamed.
Some hoped that Fox was jokin’;
Some wondered what they’re smokin’.
And Inara, River, Doc, Kaylee,
Jayne, Shepherd, Mal, Wash, and Zoë
Sang, “You can’t take the sky from me” –
The day the sci-fi died.

And we’re all wond’rin’,
Why, why, can’t this show “Firefly”
Be restarted where we parted,
Can’t we have a re-try?
We’ll retcon out that film they did in ‘05
So that Wash and Shepherd both are alive
Wash and Shepherd both are alive

Why, why, can’t this show “Firefly”
Be restarted where we parted
Can’t we have a re-try?
Let’s Crazy-Ivan to pre-twenty-aught-five
So that Wash and Shepherd both are alive
Copyright (C) 2010 by Dr. Oliver Clozoff. All rights reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Doc - This is epic! That show must have REALLY made an impression on you. Quite an undertaking executed with rare skill (Aww hell! This is just plain good!). ;D
Tommy Turtle - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
DK the show, not a sci-fi fan at all, but the song is well done, except for a lack of attention to stress on the proper syllables - or to alerting the reader to a change in stress, either by a hy-phen, *asterisks*, or something similar. Fairly tiny nit; still Five-worthy addition to the genre.
Flash Flood - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Never seen the show,but heard about it so much I just had to give you 5's
Wild Child JIN - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
The original song of this parody was written at the year of my birth 1972. So I cherish it and this parody very, very much!! ;-) So I am singing, My my, this song gets a 5, 5, 5! ;-)
Wild Child JIN - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Just in case you're curious the full birthdate is August 21, 1972. which would make me 38, to save some people from doing the math. ;-)
Tommy Turtle @ Wild Child Jin - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
I'd not recommend putting such identity-theft type info on the Net. Even though you're posting under a pseudonym, there's no true anonymity, and it can be easier to trace peeps than you might think. Food for thought. ...

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