Song Parodies -> "Amusement Park Rides"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Amusement Park Rides"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

"Welcome to the Hotel Calif....Six Flags???"

Was not too long ago, young girl got dismembered
On a Six Flags wild Superman ride
On every ride we take a chance
That car we're on just might detach
And maybe, send us flying for a mile
Their safety standards make me shiver
Another casket got delivered
Bypassed that last check
They never care to inspect

They will give you breaks on their fries
While they reassure you with their lies
Throw new paint on so now it can hide
Cracks on that whirling ride, so

(Chorus)
Why die on Amusement Park Rides
You're too heavy this may levy
Whether everyone dies
In all that noise
We're screamin' save me and why
Wonderin' is this a new ride that can fly
Is this a new ride that can fly

Did you leave the park some blood
I don't have faith in carny crud
Since their actions are so slow
Now our bodies are not meant to roll
Should take your fear and not your soul
And not to bang me
A real chance death blow
Well that ride I went in on a whim
'Cause it looked like fun when it spins
They said take off your shoes
I should have passed on that weird news
I was spinning wild and so unaware
That in the end I would look like Linda Blair
Need exorcism for that chair
On that wild, zipper ride, I started screaming,

(Chorus)
Don't die on Amusement Park Rides
You're too heavy this may levy
Whether everyone dies
In all that noise
We're screamin' save me and why
Wonderin' are we in a part of Saw 5
Are we in a part of Saw 5

Now face the fear just exposed a bone
You got thrown splat on a nearby stone
When the belt broke and you sailed free
When the State Fair rang you just made the scene
You just hoped for fun and not lose a spleen
Little voice should have said you should flee
Oh and while the ride was whizzing round
Some bolts flew off and you went down
Park's lawyers had well earned
A case where you got burned
And while the heavens just filled with sparks
They claimed you went too near the arc
Got third degrees as you left the park
On that, Inferno ride, you were screamin',

(Chorus)
Why die on Amusement Park Rides
You're too heavy this may levy
Whether everyone dies
In all that noise
We're screamin' save me and why
Wonderin' the thrill is if we all survive
The thrill is if we all survive

Summer swelter made you seek some shelter
Log flume turned into Helter Skelter
Very high drop and fallin' fast
No belts needed but alas
The seat broke off and stuck in your ass
Got a free return pass with your body cast
Now the dolphin show would start real soon
As the music blasts an aqua tune
At fish you want to glance
And it gave them that one chance
'Cause the sea lions were short a meal
Your waving hand just closed the deal
On the day where you fed the seals
Your hand, has waved goodbye, and you were screamin',

(Chorus)
Why die on Amusement Park Rides
You're too heavy this may levy
Whether everyone dies
In all that noise
We're screamin' save me and why
Wonderin' why I can only count to five
Why I can only count to five

Too many people jammed in place
Your coaster ride's lost in space
Jumped off that track you face your end
So this long ride's a gamble
Wheels will click, wheels smashed on a loosened brick
'Cause tires are what they never get checked
As some people fell from the cage
You watch them hit the high dive stage
Their bodies smashed to gel you make
Your last farewell
And as the coaster teetered from your height
You looked down for extra fright
You saw carnies betting on your plight
No way, the cars collide, you were screamin',

(Chorus)
Why die on Amusement Park Rides
You're too heavy this may levy
Whether everyone dies
In all that noise
We're screamin' save me and why
Wonderin' why your ride had made a swan dive
Why your ride had made a swan dive

You saw a ride that looked real new
And the guy said it was hardly used
It was too calm you turned away
They sell insurance in the store
You've never seen them do that before
And the fine line read
You're riding your last day
Now every ride seems like a dream
More people died what does it all mean
Your hand has world end tokens
Your fate now has been spoken
So those three men you'd admired most
Will guide you as you're now a ghost
You're on a peace train and it floats
The way, you love to, ride
And you're now singin',

(Chorus *)
*I fly on Amusement Park Rides
You're soul's heavy as a chevy
Final peace you rely
And that's your choice
No grievin' and you know why
Reflectin' how your life has been a wild ride
How your life has been a wild ride....

(Repeat *)

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alvin - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

mammoth job...a fun ride that befits the subject...my fave of the day

Mark Scotti - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Alvin! It was a fun write to do, and it ended up taking a "Hotel California" feel by the time I got to the end...

AFW - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Unique in theme, and very well done

Mark Scotti - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, AFW!!

Timmy1000 - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Fun song and wild ride.

Mark Scotti - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Tim!!

2Eagle - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Your parody reminds me of what a total waste of time that is. Visit our national parks and have some real fun.

Mark Scotti - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, 2Eagle!

Tommy Turtle - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment

Mark, brilliant concept on a tough OS that always seems to have been milked for all it can, until someone finds a new twist. You're going to hate me, but for me, it was marred by too many pacing glitches (won't mention the stress glitches, except once):

Bypassed that last check 5
Bad news on the doorstep 6

Throw new paint on so now it can hide 9
But something touched me deep inside 8

'Cause it looked like fun when it spins 8
'Cause I saw you dancing in the gym 9

You just hoped for fun and not lose a spleen 10
In a coat he borrowed from james dean 9

Many lines have to stress on "the", which is usually awkward, e. g.

And while the heavens just filled with sparks
And while lennon read a book of marx,

Although both are 9 syl, only way to sing the parody line to OS is:
"And while THE hea-VENS ..... which is awkward and unnatural.
Easy fix:
"And while heaven's lit up, filled with sparks (many possibilities; that's just one)
Now it stresses and sings the same as OS. One example suffices, but this occurred a number of times.

Got third degrees as you left the park 9
And we sang dirges in the dark 8

Log flume turned into Helter Skelter 9
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter 10 (Rock group The Byrds were anti-nuke activst)

Your coaster ride's lost in space 7
A generation lost in space 8
Just omit the contraction:
Your coaster ride is lost in space .... and it paces and stresses perfectly.

...wheels smashed on a loosened brick 7
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick 8
(Leaving out any issues of parody lines breaking in different places from OS several times)

You looked down for extra fright 7
To light the sacrificial rite, 8

Will guide you as you're now a ghost 8
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, 9
(He might not have enunciated "and the" separately very well) ************** This is more than just academic nit-picking (ok, it's some of that, too). I'm singing your lyrics in my head and hearing McLean's melody in my head, and when they don't jive, it's like on an old record player when the needle jumps a track or hits a scratch -- it's jarring, and the song quits flowing. One doesn't care so much if their fake jewelry from Wal-Mart™ has a flaw, but when one goes for the biggest diamond of them all, one wishes it were flawless. Unfortunate distractions from a song that surely took much time and effort, and with just a bit more, would join the AP Masterpiece Club. Would again very humbly recommend Tommy Turtle's Guide to Perfect Parody Pacing:
http://www.geocities.com/tommythedancingturtle/Pacing_Page_1.html
Foolproof method for flawless pacing.

Please check the above issues yourself and let me know if I'm off base anywhere. I'll hold off on voting until then. Congrats on finding yet another twist on OS. Cheers!

Mark Scotti - June 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Tom, thanks for the scan. Will retool & republish, as I do want this one to be just right...

Below Average Dave - June 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Yeah, slightly pacing, but your on the right track.--it's funny and it's a good topic idea Mark, gargantuan song to take on (I've hit this one myself)

Mark Scotti - June 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Dave. Look on Monday for the pacing cleanup. Hope to not be further "Shell Shocked" (Though I do appreciate it, Tom, I know it's your Holy Grail song...)

Tommy Turtle - June 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Mark, I've done it only once... and about sheep-****ing, of all things :D ..... It's *everyone's* HG! .... since you're redoing, will hold off on vote rather than blemish this one, and pea-brain will try to remember to look Monday (busy week coming and no songs planned, though ya never know. Parodies are like pregnancies -- not all of them are planned, some "just happen" (lol at own brilliant, ad-lib witticism).

Some time when you're bored, drunk, or both, maybe check out the TT Pacing Guide and tell me what ya think -- just as frankly as I did here, of course! ... those would also be good occasions to critique TT's one and only stab at OS,
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean119.shtml
Cheers!

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