A long, long time ago
Somewhere in America
This guy called Don, he wrote a song.
Now it was catchy, and it was sweet
But by the time it was complete
The damn thing was almost nine minutes long.

And though it wove a complex story
Listening was like purgatory.
It did not just suck, it
Made you reach for a bucket.

Even brave men wept and cried
As their auditory centres fried.
You'd cut your ears off just to hide
From Don's immortal pie.

Oh Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

Now it probably wouldn't be so bad
If it didn't drive its listeners mad
With trying to work out what it means.
Most folks agree that the basic gist
Is that Don was trying to make a list
Of memorable nineteen-sixty's scenes.

Pop culture draped in metaphor
But what the sam hill is it for?
It really makes you think,
And it makes you want to drink.

'Cause when those cryptic lyrics get too dense
Flying in the face of all common sense
As one lone singer, his spleen vents.
That's Don's immortal pie.

That's why I'm asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

Thirty years now, we've been listening
To this smooth New Rochellian sing
About the years spent in his teens.
And though he seems quite happy to discuss
He continues to stir up a fuss
With his refusal to explain just what it means

His motivation mostly seems
To stem from poetry and dreams
But there's also a strong
Hint of history in this song
There are figures out of politics
Music artists and some teenage chicks
But even these can't hope to fix
Up Don's immortal pie.

And so we're asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

Here's some news that shouldn't disappoint
We've just made it past the halfway point.
So it is all downhill from here.
But we're no closer to our goal
Of steering through the rocky shoal
That makes up this bizarre song's tortured soul.

You may rage and you may fume,
You may throw your headphones 'cross the room,
Scream to all the gods
But you're betting against the odds
Greater minds than yours have tried and failed
To peer through this song's murky veil
There is no moral to the tale
Of Don's immortal pie.

So we'll keep asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

As people scramble for some closure
Theories flow like sweet ambrosia
Like that one about the plane...
So why not, blame the Russians, blame the poor
Blame the ones the song was written for
And don't worry if they ask you to explain.

No matter how hard we beseech,
The truth is simply out of reach.
There is no right or wrong
'Cause in the end, it's just a song.
So let the critics argue through the night
And pity them their hopeless plight
To try and shed some meagre light
On Don's immortal pie

They won't stop asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

But at the ending of the day
There's no clear answer we can say
Of what was going through Don's mind
On that fateful New York morn
When this anthem tune was born
Or maybe it's whatever we can find.

Could that be the final answer?
Not the dance steps, but the dancer.
Through all the bluff and preening
We make up our own meaning.
It's all about the memories
What someone in their own life sees.
Or maybe it's just one big tease
By Don's immortal pie.

Still folks are asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
New releases, remixed pieces make me just want to cry.
I'll tell you this and I swear it's no lie
That you'll hear it 'til the day that you die.
You'll hear it 'til the day that you die.

Forever asking
Why, why won't this song ever die?
Some day Don will be gone but this song will survive.
It'll still be played in 3005
So pray that day will never arrive.