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Song Parodies -> "Intellectual Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Intellectual Guy"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

OK, this goes against my whole "only use each OS once" thing, but I was challenged to write a response to "Diluvian Pie" using the same tune with the opposite point of view. This is not an attack parody, it's just a response to it. (and it kind of goes off-topic after the first verse but it stays on the right message). I hope everyone who reads it becomes enlightened from it.
About one year ago
I debated with a
fellow that could make some great wisecracks
And he knew that I had no proof
And he could make me seem the goof,
while sticking to his scientific facts.

He claimed that there was just no way
The planet’s life was washed away
and rainbows are colored light
and he knew that he was right.

I can't remember what I said
But I know that I was quite unread
And what I should have done instead
Was say these words with pride.

“Yeah, nice try, “intellectual guy”
You can look throughout the Book but
you will not find one lie.
I’m not saying’ you’re slow you’re just simply misgui-
-ded. Science just brings us more things to ask why
Science is not what I stand by”

Do you know God’s promised love?
Do you think he looks down from above?
And that he’s right there next to you?
Oh, Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
That his love simply can’t be priced,
And do you think that all he’s done is true?

Well, I know you may be skeptical
or you may want to engage in brawl.
I just want you to see
that I know you disagree.

Don’t try to tell me that my mind is closed.
‘cause I know that I will often be opposed.
And I want lies to be exposed.
Their downfall is their pride.

I’ll still be thinking
Nice try, “intellectual guy”
You can look throughout the Book but
you will not find one lie.
I’m not saying you’re slow, you’re just simply misgui-
-ded. Science just brings us more things to ask why
Science is not what I stand by

Now for years Christians have been told
that their “folklore” is worn-out and old.
But we still use B.C. today
When the others say we’re pessimists
and they argue that no God exists.
Well, what an gloomy thing to say

Oh, it’s been proven the Earth’s slowing down
and when it began to spin around
it must have spun real fast;
when it started in the past.
And they say billions of years ago
The world was formed from that small glow
But at that speed how would it grow?
Everything would have died.

So now I’m thinking
Nice try, “intellectual guy”
You can look throughout the Book but
you will not find one lie.
I’m not sayin’ you’re slow, you’re just simply misgui-
-ded. Science just brings us more things to ask why
Science is not what I stand by

Big Big Theory plainly doesn’t add up
How can a drink come from an empty cup?
The concept is outlandish indeed.
Some just refuse to believe
They think we’re simple and naive
and that we merely seek out to mislead

But what they refuse to understand
Is that we just want to lend a hand
and show them why we pray
‘Cause of what went on that day
when the masses shouted “Crucify”;
to He who’d never told a lie
And for those sinners he would die
Even those who denied.

and I am thinking:
Why, why, “intellectual guy”
do you say no to the truth though it
stares you in the eye?
You can’t admit you’re wrong no matter how much we pry
Christians aren’t deceivers, we’re an ally.
Jesus is your greatest ally.

Oh, and now I stand in frustration
at the people with no salvation.
They don’t want God to answer to.
So come on: think it through, thoroughly
believe in the Holy Trinity
Cause, believing without seeing, that’s the key.

Oh, and as I hear them say it’s a ruse
I just have to question their strange views
How can they just dismiss
His power that exists?
They think we’re stubborn, we think the same way
but more believe in Him today
(and) By physics, equal forces don’t sway
The power’s on our side

Now I’m thinking
Nice try, “intellectual guy”
We’ll be needing what we read in
the Book people deny.
I know that it’s sad but we all sin so we die.
But thanks to Jesus all of us can get by.
Jesus is who we should stand by.

And back at that tough argument
And I kept going with good intent,
But what I’d say, he’d just demean
and he was able to outfox
With that classic “boulder paradox”
But I know now that God’s power can’t be seen

And Noah’s Ark was real I know,
And God’s promise is a rainbow
Back then I had no comeback
And he knew where to attack.
Now there’s one more thing that I must say
If you get lost along the way
Then just get on your knees and pray
Never think suicide

Just keep on thinking
“Nice try, Mr. Lucifer Guy
Your main goal to steal my soul
will not succeed, so good-bye.
And I have been saved so its ok if I die.
I know Jesus is my greatest ally
Jesus is my greatest ally

Now, I am thinking
“Hi, hi ‘intellectual guy’
You may be a wiz,
But Jesus is
The best to live by.
I want to help someone see they get a 2nd try
And help them to find someone to rely.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - September 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Use each OS only once? Why?!
Bluetooth - September 15, 2008 - Report this comment
It just feels redundant to me and I like having a different melody to work with each time.
Invisible Boy - September 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Good writing and ideas throughout. I may not agree with your point of view, but you still expressed them very well.
Red Ant - September 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't recall seeing a challenge issued to reply to "Diluvian Pie", but never the less this was a pretty solid parody. Science asks "how", not "why" (that is philosophy), and even if it did, "Science just brings us more things to ask why": what's so bad about that? Doesn't "goddidit" and "the lord works in mysterious ways" get old after a while?

You are correct that the Big Bang Theory and origins of life leave much to be desired, but much less so than religious explanations, limited and archaic as the are. God and science aren't even mutually exclusive, though science shreds the Bible. You seem like a decent fellow and competent writer, Bluetooth, though I doubt those are due to your beliefs. 555
unKnownVotrix - September 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Goodbye, Intellectual, guy . . .
Phil Alexander - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Did you mean I
As "Intellectual Guy"
And you wrote this little note as some kind of a reply?
Kudos for finishing American Pie
But your bible's still just pie in the sky
As maybe you'll find out, by and by...
Bluetooth - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Did you read the beginning? I don't remember ever debating with you or your song before. I was referring to a different event.

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