A long, long time ago,
I still remember as a young ‘toon, dreaming really big
And I knew o’er at Loony Tunes,
They drew laughs from here to the moon
And it would be a really nifty gig.
In many cartoons I was a star,
And people knew me from near and far
Always had a good script
But one day the scales were tipped.
I’d seen Duck Amuck, with Daffy,
Heard how Elmer drew Bugs so goofy,
Ne’er dreamed it could happen to me,
A cartoon parody.

I started thinkin’
Oh, no, what’s this guy gonna draw,
Maybe ten feet, talk that repeats, in a bath of cole slaw
This stuff really should just be against the law,
This cartoon is gonna stick in my craw.
This ‘toon really sticks in my craw.

Could Wile E. ever catch that bird,
or keep from having mishaps absurd?
We all know the answer’s “no.”
I started at work, one day at ten,
Expected a nice friendly pen,
With some allusions to old Mex-i-co

Well, I knew I was in trouble fast,
He drew my foot in a great big cast,
I said senor, no fair,
Then he drew a big bear.
I hopped into a car that looked real quick,
He drew a real high ramp over a big stick,
And I soon was pulling a stunt trick,
As I flew o’er his claw.

I was thinkin,
Oh, no, what’s this guy gonna draw,
If he makes one more like that one,I’ll go right in its jaw,
Just as I think that I land on a dog’s paw,
Thinkin’ this ‘toon really sticks in my craw.
This ‘toon really sticks in my craw.

Now this dog seemed to be really sweet,
‘Cept I won’t eat a doggie treat,
I say “senor, I’d like some cheese.”
So he ran and brought some limburger back,
I went to say something and heard “quack!”
Then he scratched and I got many fleas.

Oh, and when I saw my cast was off,
Despite the fact I had a cough,
From that atrocious smell,
I tried my Spanish yell,
Though I somehow spoke in Pig Latin,
That race with the fleas I did win,
Only to hit Cheshire Cat’s grin,
In the next scene I saw.

I was thinkin’,
Oh, no, who’s this guy that does draw,
Senor gato, or duck loco, well I guess it’s a draw,
I’ve made each one think “this is the last straw,”
Either way this really sticks in my craw.
This ‘toon really sticks in my carw.

Is it Daffy, or maybe it’s Sylvester,
Either one can really be a jester,
As Cheshire Cat I run past.
Suddenly I see a trap,
I think that this will be a real snap.
But as I grab the cheese he redraws it fast.

It turns into a bomb really large,
And my body’s redrawn as a barge,
I say “senor, no way,
Arriba,” and I speed away,
And though I was still really quick,
He drew a scene from Titanic,
I started to sink like a brick,
As all that ice I saw.

I was thinkin’,
Oh, no, what’s this guy gonna draw,
I only know ‘toons can’t die so I won’t be fish food raw.
In fact as I complain I’m sayin’ “hee haw,”
Thinkin’ this ‘toon really sticks in my craw.
This ‘toon really sticks in my carw.

Oh, and he redrew me head to toe,
And put me in a picture show.
I looked and said “I’m not Mickey!
Senor, finally a mouse you drew
But these are not my clothes or shoes.
And these ears are really goofy on me.

Oh, and then some men came on the stage,
Their faces were purple with rage,
They said this ‘toon was through.
Or they were gonna sue.
They held up a “the end” sign for me,
Said they had come o’er from Disney,
Never thought I could be so happy
at those lawyers I saw.

I was thinkin’
I can’t believe all that I saw
That cartoony was so loony, in the end I said, “Aw,
Now that it’s over, there’s much humor I saw,”
But inside it it just stuck in my craw,
Till the end was forced by the law.

I heard a voice say “Hey Speedy,”
And I recognized it was Tweety,
And recalled he’d been off that day.
He said “I saw how that cat drew,
“and I really felt sorry for you,
“But I really didn’t know just what to say.”
But he wanted to get back at
That “really bad, darn old puddy tat.”
When he saw me as Mickey,
Tweety called friends at Disney.
And funny concepts I will hoard,
Till I get back at him I won’t be bored,
The pen’s mightier than the sword,
And so, that cat, I’ll draw.

He’ll be thinkin’,
Oh, no, what’s this guy gonna draw,
Fur of light blue, with green stripes too, a dog ‘stead of a claw.
This stuff should really just be against the law,
And this cartoon really stick in my craw.
This ‘toon really sticks in my craw.

Oh, no, what’s this guy gonna draw,
We like to be really silly, and make y’all go “haw haw”
Now that’s all, folks, till next time that we draw,
And we really hope you liked what you saw.
We all hope you liked what you saw.