Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Red Shirt Guy / Federation Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don Mclean

Parody Song Title:

"Red Shirt Guy / Federation Pie"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I wrote this song for my Trekkie friend who will only be known here as the fool.
It was five years ago but I can still remember
How they told us we were gonna die
They said it like they didn't care
Like it was them who would be there
Id have been happy if they'd tried
And when they gave me my uniform
I knew that soon I'd fit the norm
And that I didn't join for
I joined so that I could soar
I can't remember how I felt
If I was mad with the cards, dealt
But then they said that I would melt
And my friend said to me


And we were there and they were there
I gotta admit that I was scared
I hope the captain couldn't see
As the klingons lunged and I ducked my head
Or their batleths would have struck me dead
They were on a killing spree
I pulled my phaser from its sheath
But when I took it from beneath
It was my tricorder
And I was in disorder
Cause the captain was unarmed as well
But on that I tried not to dwell
But I knew we were shot to hell
I had to just tell me


Well the captain called up to the ship
He said the mission was a bad trip
Scotty beamed him up
But I was stuck, he didn't care
He went up and regelled his hair
And the klingons they just stayed and stared
Cause they knew that I was just like them
Rommie kirk less male than fem
They put their guns away
Went to their bird of prey
Told me to follow and so I did
Without a phaser, who could I kid?
But they made me their head,
They called and said to me

Hi, Hi, Enterprise Red Shirt Guy
I hope you are happy since you did not fry
But your officers, they've lied their last lie
You don't mind they all die? You don't care if captain kirk, he must die?

We flew up there at warp .5
Kirk could not see what we strived
We were gonna shoot him dead
We turned off cloak and beamed onboard
No time for phasers, just klingon swords
We took them like a mongol horde
And then we closed on Capn Kirk
This was a mission he couldn't shirk
I pulled my gun on him
Said how about that, Jim?
I pulled the trigger on the gun
Whaddya know, it was set on stun
And the cops, they just said cmon
Tune in next time, youll see

Bye, bye, I know the ends aren't tied
But the seasons all over and the year is nigh
Tune in next September, or maybe July
And youll see another Red Shirt guy die, yeah so just sit there, sit there now and just sigh

And sing


Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   5
 4   1
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

RubyTuesday - February 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I made a mistake. Except when another chorus is stated, the normal one is Bye, Bye, enterprise red shirt guy dont go on that away mission or you will fry and those officers, they just drink and they lie they dont care when it is us who must die nobody cares when u and me die

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 882