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Song Parodies -> "Ed Gein's Americana"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McClean

Parody Song Title:

"Ed Gein's Americana"

Parody Written by:

Andrew Lutzke

The Lyrics

Ed Gein was a hermit who lived in Wisconsin in the 1950's. He killed several people and dug up graves to make furniture and clothing out of the bodies. This is my "tribute" to him.
A Long Long Time ago
A man lived who was both meek and vile
And he knew if he had the chance
He'd dress up in skins and go outside to dance
Then He'd be happy for a while

Oh but Eddie's secret could make you shiver
The way he'd tear out his victem's liver
When he brought the corpse home
He cut them up
And Explore each inch
He'd cut out Vaginas with pride
Oh Now Eddie Knew what women looked like inside
Soon After Augusta died

So (Refrain)
Oh Why Why Augusta did you have to die
You drove Eddie crazy
Now's He's hanging up skins to dry
In the Small town of Plainfield W. I.
They're all asking Why Eddie Why

Eddie thought Augusta was pretty like a dove
and She tught him about the God Above
Augusta said the town was full of whores
Impure down to their cores
And God would not approve of their darken souls
So She forbade Eddie from dancin' slow
Cause no girl was pure enough for him
So no girls ever danced with him

Oh Eddie never touched no booze
Augusta threatened to abuse
Oh Eddie became one messed up fuck
Dragging home bodies in his pick up truck
He knew how much his life did suck
The day Augusta died


Now for a few months Eddie's been on his own
Skinning people to the bone
But that's not how he wants it to be
He wants to see his mother, his queen
Now you may find Eddie obscene
But he was just like you and me
Except for when he was feelin' down
He drank from his victems crown
His house was a mess
Eddie didn't care i guess
And While Eddie read a book of war
Victems heads rolled on the floor
And Eddie danced once again in the dark
Soon after Augusta died


Hell's Shelter was on Eddie's farm
During winter or when it was warm
The body count rising fast
And still Eddie danced on the grass
While Churchgoers went to mass
No one looked at this aghast
Now the bodies were smelling up the room
So Eddie choose to burn them soon
And once again dance
But this time he had lost his chance
Cause Kids were playing in his field
And Eddie choose not to unshield
He had to much to reveal
Soon after Augusta died


Oh While at the local bar
From Eddie's house not very far
Eddie saw evil here again
So Eddie got his gun and he did stick
The bullet in bartender's back real quick
And sent the she- Devil to Hell

Oh no one caught on yet
So Eddie had to reason to fret
He now had a new toy
And he chopped her up, Oh Boy!
On another day, no not a night,
Eddie shot another lady in plain sight
But he left to many clues, alright
Soon after Augusta died


So Eddie was caught, but he played dumb
But in his house was a human skin drum
So now his secrets were revealed
Masks, Chairs, Lamps, Vests, and much more
Made of skins , oh what gore
Around his house many bodies lay

And in the end the town screamed
This was worse than they could ever dream
The sacred bond of death was broken
Cause Eddie liked women who were Chroken'
And the person he thought most swell
Was Augusta, who made him mentally unwell
He loved her til he came to Hell
Soon after Augusta died


So why why did I tell you about this guy?
Drove you loony, with my goony
Local Killer's Cry
Well just stop asking the who, whats, and whys
Cause I'll be a Geiner til the day I die!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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MrMacphisto - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Great song, I'm dying to hear your next one...

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