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Song Parodies -> "Coal in the Stockings"

Original Song Title:

"Smoke on the Water"

Original Performer:

Deep Purple

Parody Song Title:

"Coal in the Stockings"

Parody Written by:

Chris Bodily TM

The Lyrics

This parody has been floating in my head since December began and maybe even a little before. The concept of this parody is similar to Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy" or maybe even "Bad Santa." Enjoy!
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho
(Repeat until first verse)

We all came down to Santa's house
Told him what to put in the tree
He was really, really jolly
Last year, but not this time
Kris Kringle and the reindeer
Dropped some bombs down by our house
And I didn't get Van Halen
(When) Santa Claus came to town

Coal in the Stockings
And fire in the tree
Coal in the stockings

He went to our neighbor's house
He died from a heart attack
Santa Claus was frightening for the man
Bandit elves stole their stuff
When it all was over
He had to find another place
St. Nick came down my chimney
His teeth were rotten, convict face

Coal in the Stockings
And Kenny G CDs
Coal in the stockings

(Guitar solo)

We ended up at the Police Department
It was not Kris Kringle's beard
The cops said "Santa" was stoned and he escaped
From the San Quentin there
With a big red nose, Rudolph was a fake
And so was the Mrs.
Chief Connor told me all about this
He wasn't Santa at all

Nick went to Prison
And got executed
He is in Hell now

Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho

(Repeat/Fade out)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Troy - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Hahahahaha what a cack!!! I especially pissed myself laughing at the line "And Kenny G CDs", fantastic parody all 5s mate!!!
John Barry - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
As a former soprano-sax-player wannabe, I laughed my octave key off at the Kenny G line.
Steve K. - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Just the thought of the words "ho ho ho" being sung to the famous guitar riff is funny enough.
Know 1 can hear you dream - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
He's in the chimney
And he has stole your tree
He's in the chimeny
You're getting fives from me.
Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
"...and Kenny G CDs"? Damn, what did you do to get THAT naughty? Well, this parody goes on my Nice List!
Jeff Reuben - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You get points for getting the guitar solo from the original stuck in my head. I agree with everyone above...the Kenny G line was classic! Good job, one of your better songs in my book.
Scathe - January 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) Somebody really ticked off the big guy for him to go from jolly to jaded.
Rick D - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Very Charlie Brown.
Agrimorfee - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Smokin'!
Hello Konichiwa - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Kenny G SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not bad, but having heard Weird Al's previously sort of overshadows this one. - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Kudos for parodying the riff. Just yesterday I was reading Rolling Stone's "500 Greatest Songs of All Time"; Deep Purple's keyboardist claimed that the working title for this song (#426) was "Durh Durh Durh." It was written about a fire at a Frank Zappa concert started by some idiot fan with a flare gun. Ain't trivia great?

Anyhoo, fun stuff, Oh Trademarked One. "Coal in the stockings / And Kenny G CDs" is classic.
Claude Prez - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very enjoyable; ditto on the Kenny G line.
Paul Robinson - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, The "Kenny G" part makes this step out front, for sure...Very fine job...5's.
Phil Alexander - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Can't believe I missed this one first time around- you had me on the "Ho ho ho" bit :-)
Peregrin - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one CBTM
Johnny D - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Cute and clever. Hey, folks ought to pitch-in on an all-holiday set of parodies of "Smoke On The Water". We can start with CBTM's "Coal in the Stockings", and my "Scrooge Said "Bah, Humbug!"".
Arwen - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--nice job on this one!
martha - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
cool lyric.... as a soprano sax player I liked the Kenny G line too!!
Stuart McArthur - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) nice tidy story-line Chris - I liked it
John Jenkins - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
What everybody else said, particularly "ho ho ho." Well done, Chris.
2nz - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
SOme post-holiday cheer. As an also-sax player, let me also ditto the 'Kenny G' line.
Tim Mayfield - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Memorable.
Meriadoc - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ditto on the Kenny G line.
Kristof Robertson - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yuletide meets 70s heavy! 555
Chris H. - January 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny idea , I can't stand that Kenny G. It should be Kenny gee he can't play worth crap.

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