Paid churl Cratchit penury fare
Antsy alone on Yule night, while I contemplate pence new
Pondering the season quelling
Giving spiels on not Noeling
Irons clink slowly
Well oh Holy Moly
A wraith looms!

Jacob Marley!
Clock, three, chimes
Now I'm feeling generous'ty
Chastened for gripe-
ing, my rancor did show
All my cheapness…
(Bah Humbug !)
Now I’ll keep up the Nativ’ty
On ad-vice spirit-type (clink clink)
I’ll distribute my dough!

Some ghosts flew through my window tonight
Showed me some things in three tenses good teachings to start
Heard the many chains upon you
And oh my visions I implored you
Return me to my dreams begged this Ebenezer
Oh depart!

Jacob Marley!
Clock, three, chimes
Holidaying’s now my forte
Mmm Christmasy type
Is the stance now I’ll show
Navidadness!
(Whats that thump?)
Means you’ll find me giving alms ‘way
Whoa oh wise poltergeist (clink clink)
Partner from long ago

Whoa Jacob said he was dismaying
How my life, it’s gone astraying
Implored to show me
How life needs to throw me
Something new

Thanks to Marley
Clock, three, chimes
His appearance was quite daunting
Though it ceased all my gripes
And my angst I forgoed
All my meanness
(Gruff, hurrumph)
Retrospectively’s appalling
Mmmm now I’m nice guy (clap clap)
Pleased my life’s apropos