Just came by some new bars, went inside for a few jars,
Got in, sat down, then I felt strong remorse,
Soon to be regretting, theres guys beside me petting,
Dudes, dudes, dudes, Lookin' at my backdoor.

There are giants with high squeals, and macho men in high heels,
Look at all the shady people wearing leather shorts,
A drag doing ca-ba-ret, and fags with finger buffet,
Dudes, dudes, dudes, Lookin' at my backdoor.

Camp marines are elegant, with disappearing hands
Gotta make my move, out the room, in view...
Total taboo
I'm not your casanova, don't think to come on over
Dudes, dudes, dudes, Lookin' at my backdoor

Bursting, but I cant chance going to the lav
Getting chat up lines from a bearded bride, and soon
Ohh Oh oh ohhh
Wished I wasn't drinking, whilst guys here are thinking
Of do,do, do, doing up my backdoor

I'm not feeling much joy, their on the hunt for, rent boys!
Look at all groomed up people, knealing on all fours
Won't be back tomorrow, thank god that I'm still sober

Dudes, dudes, dudes, Lookin' at my backdoor.