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Song Parodies -> "Have You Ever Seen A Plant In Pain?"

Original Song Title:

"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"

Original Performer:

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Parody Song Title:

"Have You Ever Seen A Plant In Pain?"

Parody Written by:

vegan minstrel

The Lyrics

Pythagoras said long ago
As long as men kill animals
They’ll go, go on killing
Each other

Yet there are some jokers today
Who try to twist the truth so far
And say that even plants can suffer

I wanna know, have you ever
seen a plant in pain?
Don’t be a dope
Where there’s no brain
There is no pain
Have some sense, go vegan

The gore of slaughtered seals in snow
Is so deeply revolting, yes
You know no cucumber has it that bad

Still forever the nonsense flows
I sure wish that people weren’t such dopes
There’s no way a plant can suffer

I wanna know, have you ever
seen a plant in pain?
Don’t be a dope
Where there’s no brain
There is no pain
Have some sense, go vegan

I wanna know, have you ever
seen a plant in pain?
Don’t be a dope
Where there’s no brain
There is no pain
Have some sense, go vegan

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Phil Ossifer - February 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Just FYI, most of my favorite meals start out in plants - packing plants. As a matter of fact, I'm planning on having a "meating" today to celebrate their continued efforts. And by the way, the Venus Fly Trap is a plant that, more or less, eats meat. Or does it only count if said meat comes from a cuddly creature with beautiful brown eyes? Ever considered trying to write something witty for once? Your incessant, one-topic ranting has turned you into the Greta Thunberg of parody writing.
eel deal - February 15, 2022 - Report this comment
only a jealous mentality could refer to VM as not witty. what a Venus flytrap eats is irrelevant to the point at hand, since even they can't suffer. i read that they are edible but endangered, so ethically-minded people would avoid munching on them for that reason alone. having no brain means they can't suffer, so they might be considered vegan food by some but not plant-based since they digest bugs? or are they not vegan as well since they cruelly kill creatures?
vegan minstrel - February 15, 2022 - Report this comment
why is vegan minstrel crucified for focusing 100% on vegan themes? don't people have the right to choose their own function?
Phil Ossifer - February 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Eel deal, I just thought it was interesting that, according to veganism, humans eating other "creatures" is deplorable, but when a plant eats "creatures", well, that's what they do. VM, feel free to keep banging on for the cause. I'm just curious if you think you're changing any minds.
Arrogant Worms - February 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Listen up brothers and sisters! Come hear my desperate tale:
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night;
This killing of veggies is madness! I say we take up the fight!
Salads are only for murderers! Coleslaw's a fascist regime!
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just 'cause a radish can't scream...

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (Scream! Scream! Scream!)
Watching their skins being peeled; (Having their insides revealed...)
Grated and steamed with no mercy! (Burning off calories!)
How do you think that feels? (That it hurts really bad...)
Susanna Viljanen - February 16, 2022 - Report this comment
I need protein. Can I go on eating cnidarians? I mean, the jellyfish have no brains either.
vegan minstrel - February 16, 2022 - Report this comment
plant sources of protein abound. jellyfish can't suffer so eating them is nowhere near as cruel as eating sentient animals, but since they are animals, true vegans will avoid that. since octopi have 9 brains, eating them is 9 times as cruel. plants eating creatures don't have a brain to choose otherwise, while humans have the power to choose, making them ethically responsible. advertising is effective, so some degree of influence must have resulted from the vegan minstrel parodies.
CML - February 17, 2022 - Report this comment
You might be correct about the link between animal violence and interhuman violence in the past. Men in hunter gatherer societys were obliged to stalk and kill large animals on a weekly basis since they were quite young .. and close up no less. So they were desensitized to the sight of blood and gore being spilled and living creatures thrashing about in their death throes. So killing other humans would be no big deal at all, especially from groups invading your hunting territories .... OTOH, if the killing is out of sight and out of mind I dont think there's a direct connection to human violence

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