Lucky girl! It will be so cool,
Like a present at Christmas. You’ll
Now get to hang out and go off to school
With Harry Potter!

Come September, my time has come!
Turned eleven: my waiting’s done.
I’ll join my brothers, but I’ll be the one
(With) Harry Potter!

Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
Those toad-green eyes, they blow my mind!
Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
That cute half-blood, he’s the boy I love!
I’ll learn all my incantations,
Learn to fly a broom.
My brother Ron—oh, what frustration!—
Gets to share a room
With Harry Potter!

Found a diary among my books.
(Draco Malfoy gives dirty looks!)
I write down, “I wish I could get hooked
With Harry Potter!”

I confide in my newfound friend:
Diary’s spirit, whose ear I bend.
I’ll share a greeting that I plan to send
To Harry Potter.

Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
I’m going to rhyme a Valentine!
Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
He beat the poo out of You-Know-Who!

Dear Tom Riddle, give suggestions
How to win a beau,
And I will answer all your questions
That you want to know
‘Bout Harry Potter.

Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
His Quiddich—my!—can light the skies!
Harry Potter! Harry Potter!
He’s so divine; I wish he were mine!

*****

[Hey, Tom Riddle, whatcha saying?
You want me to what?
To choke the roosters? Loose the Monster?
Write your threats in blood?
Help, Harry Potter!]