(Spoken: I'm John McCain, and I approve this parody)

Born inside the locks of Panama
A Navy man since birth
You served on board the "Enterprise"
'Fore Kirk ever touched Earth

Now you're cleaning house in hot pursuit
Of taking Bush's job
You want to take charge for the Grand Ol' Party
The Grand Ol' Party, yeah...

John McCain
You prob'bly think the world spins around you
John McCain (McCain)
I bet you think Barack cares about you
Don't you?
Don't you?

Well, you spent some years in Vietnam
Captive of Viet Cong
And now you want to take out Iran
But what have they done wrong?

Well you have the Bushes' big support
Both "Ech-Dubya" and "Shrub"
And it don't hurt that you're pals with Jon Stewart
Pals with Jon Stewart, yeah...

John McCain
Conservatives all gather around you
John McCain (McCain)
I'm sure you think en-e-mies surround you
Don't you?
Don't you?

(bridge)

Why did you spend so much time with Jon Stewart
Time with Jon Stewart, yeah...

John McCain
Republicans all rally about you
John McCain (McCain)
I bet you wish they could do without you
Don't you?
Don't you?

While a Senator in Arizona
Each primary you quickly won
Then you grabbed a Governor for V.P.
From the State of the Midnight Sun

You need not Ron Paul or Huckabee
You're hoping for D.C.
But why do I dream you'll soon be nuking Persia
Be nuking Persia, yeah...

John McCain
You thought the "Keating Five" mess was ov-a
John McCain (John McCain)
You wish we'd forget your melanoma
Don't you?
Don't you?
Don't you?

John McCain
You prob'bly think the world spins around you

John McCain
I bet you think Barack cares about you

(repeat to fade)