You walked into the theater
Like you were walking into a noose,
Your beard strategically trimmed around your lips.
Your attitude wasn't loose.
You had one eye on the playwright as
She sat your tight caboose,
And all the cast loved that
You're not their critic,
You're not their critic, and

You're so vain,
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain,
I bet you think this show is about you,
Don't you, don't you?

Well, you thrilled me several years ago
When you were on NBC,
And you told clever jokes that cut Right and Left!
You stood for democracy.
But you gave away the soul we loved
Right to the G.O.P.
I had some dreams there were
Chains on my ankles,
Chains on my ankles, and

You're so vain,
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain,
I bet you think this show is about you,
Don't you, don't you?

(instrumental break)

I had some dreams there were
Chains on my ankles,
Chains on my ankles, and

You're so vain,
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain,
I bet you think this show is about you,
Don't you, don't you?

Well, I heard you flew up to Greenwich Village—
Bought tickets, you and your wife,
Then you rode your limo to SoHo Playhouse
To watch the Total Eclipse of Your Life!
Now, you say the right things all the time,
And when you don't, you are
Aboard Air Force One with the
Chief of the Oil Men
Chief of the Oil Men, and

You're so vain,
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain,
I bet you think this show is about you,
Don't you, don't you?

You're so vain
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain
You prob'ly think this show is about you.
You're so vain
You prob'ly think this show is about you...