You walked in through the doorway,
Next, you were tripping over the pup.
You then majestically sat upon your throne;
And found that the lid was up.
Over brunch you plugged the toaster in;
It gave you quite a shock.

And all the flowers died, when you were the gardener,
You were the gardener, and

Who's to blame?
You probably think it's everyone but you.
Who's to blame?
I'll bet you think they're all out to get you,
Don't you? Don't you?

It happened several beers ago,
A tavern on New Year's Eve.
When you rose from your glass,
For a pretty lass,
Who called herself Genevieve.
But you sobered up on New Year's morn,
And learned her name was Steve.

I heard some screams as you ran down the hallway,
Ran down the hallway, and

Who's to blame?
You probably think it's everyone but you.
What's your game?
I'll bet you think they're all out to get you,
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I heard you were born down in Sarasota,
Your mom thinks your dad was the one.
But you grew to suspect as you thought it over,
Now you're not totally convinced you're his son.
Well, your mother says, "You're his and mine."
This may be true, and yet

You may have her eyes, but you look like the Postman,
Look like the Postman, and

Who's to blame?
You probably think it's everyone but you.
You're insane.
I'll bet you think they're all out to get you,
Don't you? Don't you?