Ho ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho

Everybody was Christmas shopping (hiiii-yah!!)
That place was really hopping (boing!)
In fact it was a little bit shocking (zzzt!)
Fists flew and heads were knocking (crack!)

There were grumpy moms and dads, with punky little brats
They were shoving for stuff, with frumpy old bats
Was an ancient Chinese fart, tried to pass me at K-mart
So I clipped him with a trip, now he'll get him a brand new hip

Everybody was Christmas shopping (yah!)
It was as fun as mopping (sploosh!)
The last good toys they're copping (huh?)
In the face old broads I'm bopping (shmak!)

I was trampling little kids, I was wrestling with a nun
I heard, here comes a big sale (huh!), and it's 2 for 1
I grabbed a cart and made a run, for the DVD sec-tion
Got carried away it's true; so everyone gets Teen Wolf Too

Everybody was Christmas shopping (Ban-zaiiii!!!)
Like flies the men were dropping (thunk)
But no them women weren't stopping (hiiiii-yaaaaah!!!!)
When I'm done on the floor I'm plopping (thunk)

Coupon, coupon, coupon, coupon
Everybody was Christmas shopping (hoonga!)
That was some cold-ass clocking (thump!)
In the car I'm yelling and barking (ruff! ruff!)
Cause there ain't no g****mn parking (smash!)

Christmas shopping, prices sure were whopping
Coupon, coupon, coupon